Today is grandparents’ day and for the first time in my 26 years of life, I wasn’t able to share today with my pap. Today wasn’t the only time I had to face something without my pap and it most definitely wasn’t the first time I felt his absence. This year has brought many hard days with it and left my heart sad on many occasions due to the void that only my pap could fill. On Easter, I took a pink Lilly to the cemetery instead of eating dessert and drinking coffee with my pap after he awoke from his nap on Easter Sunday. When I passed my first practical in the spring, I wasn’t relieved that I had survived a JP critique but instead I was sad because my first call was always to my pap and on that day I couldn’t call my biggest supporter and deliver the good news. On August 10th, I wasn’t eating cake and watching him blow out candles but instead I was lighting sparklers outside and singing happy birthday to the sky. When the Mountaineers lost to Duke in this years final four, I missed hearing my pap tell me how much he despised Duke and how it pained him to see them win. The truth is I could go on forever with moments where I have missed my pap this year and as a result had gloomy and empty days but instead I am thankful that for 25 years, I had the most perfect days with him. Throughout my perfect days with him, he showed me the power of forgiveness, the importance of family, and that sacrifice isn’t sacrifice at all when you invest in the life of someone else. He taught me how to value a good cup of coffee, to appreciate sitting on the porch in the evenings, and to value a good nap. From him, I developed my loyalty to sports teams (even though I will never be a huge Yankee fan) and developed a passion for Christian music. It is because of him that I never make my bed (whether it was 6 am or 3 pm when I woke up, he always made my bed instantly), it is because of him that I can win a game of Rook with a terrible hand, and it is because of him that I know how to order a perfect banana split. My pap filled my days with happiness and his love for me was endless. His greatest accomplishment in his entire life was his family and today I felt so unworthy to have been blessed with such a great man. Because of him, I never had a single need or a single want and the best part is my pap changed my life simply because nothing made him more proud or more fulfilled than to love me.
My pap’s love for me was constant and instinctive. At times his love was undeserved but that’s when my pap loved me the most. Tonight at church, as I was singing, I was overcome at how much God loves me. At how many times his love is undeserved and at how many times he chooses to love me more instead of punishing me. And then I began to weep. Weep for all of the times that I didn’t make my God proud or fulfilled but instead brought him pain. As the tears were running down my cheeks, I felt God’s comfort, I felt that love that had sustained me for so long. In that moment, I realized that despite my failures, my God will continue to love me. God’s love is constant and endless and because of his love my days are complete and perfect. Through his love my pap taught me to be a person I could be proud of and shared with me many of his favorite aspects of life. Through His love, God has taught me that there are no limits to how much he will love me and that his love surpasses all. As a result of this love, my days won’t contain any voids and my heart won’t contain any emptiness and when I finally do arrive in heaven; the two men who loved me the most will be waiting with open arms and banana splits complete with wet walnuts, hot fudge, and strawberries.
Verse to remember: Ephesians 3:18-19 18(I pray that) you may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
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