One of my few pet peeves in life is when individuals who are fully capable of ascending/descending a flight of stairs, get on the elevator and go up or down one level. I’m not completely insensitive (I’m actually the complete opposite) and I understand that there will be days where an outward indicator isn’t visible to onlookers explaining why they are prolonging the (my) elevator ride. But I honestly have to bite my tongue on some occasions and look away so my nonverbal don’t offend someone. The worst part is; I love to be entertaining on an elevator and find it quite humorous to play music, face the back of the elevator instead of the front, and what elevator ride is complete without pretending you are severely claustrophobic around complete strangers. To avoid encountering individuals who are persistent on riding the elevator regardless of their destination and to ensure that I NEVER get stuck in an elevator (one of my biggest fears) when I am leaving the health science center; I take the stairs down to the first floor every day. If my classes weren’t on the 8th floor and I had even a slight desire to exercise; I would always use the stairs. Today, I needed to make a quick trip to Kroger to get sandwich baggies for our class bake sale (At least I came through with peanut butter blossoms) between classes. So, I opted to get on the elevator to save time. As soon as I hit the button for the doors to close, the elevator shook and started buzzing. Friends, there was no pretending to be claustrophobic at this point. Thankfully, the doors opened and the three of us trapped inside for a brief moment sprinted off.
After a brief panic attack, I started down the 8 flights of stairs to the ground level. And with each step I took, I reprimanded myself for taking the elevator even though I knew better. I went against what I knew to be true: the HSC has unreliable elevators so never take them when you are leaving the building (and lazy people add to the stops increasing my chances of getting stuck) in order to save time. I wish this was the only time today I went against what I knew to be true. (I can assure you that I took the stairs for the rest of the afternoon). This evening, I was frustrated with my tire that now clunks along with shaking, overwhelmed with my research project, upset with the selfishness of people in my life, irritated at the parking skills of my neighbors, and flat out angry that Kroger didn’t have Hershey kisses. And I missed my pap more than usual tonight. Partly because I knew if he were here my car would have been fixed weeks ago and partly because I heard the song Old Rugged Cross on Pandora today. Instead of taking a deep breath and asking God to make it all better: I cried. And I cried some more. And then I went to taco bell and ordered three burritos and a caramel empanada. Had I just allowed God to satisfy me with His love; I would have saved myself $6.32 at taco bell (I don’t want to think about the calories) and saved myself a lot of heartache and frustration. I know that everything God promises me is true despite impossible research charts and terrible parallel parking skills. I know that I don’t have the ability to hold in a good cry when I have bad day but God is the only one who has the ability to make everything better. I know that nothing I have compares to Him. And I know that one day this entire world will disappear and my happily ever after won’t contain any of my Earthly pain, suffering, or sorrow. The truth is friends, I am not certain about very many things in my life and I can count on my hands the number of things I know to be true. But God’s love for me and His ability to change everything in my life (good and bad) for His glory is all I consider to be 100% true always. When I feel like I have been given too much and feel like crying and eating as much fattening food as possible; I remind myself that I wouldn’t even be able to face all the difficulties of my day, if it wasn’t for His grace.
I am thankful that elevators exist to add convenience to my days and provide a shortcut to my daily routine. (even if my shortcut is made a tad bit longer by “lazy” people) But when I want to get home and say goodbye to the 8th floor of the HSC; I don’t want ease and convenience, I want to trust what I know. My night was made slightly better by a late night taco bell run and cupcake batter (and perhaps ice cream later) and a good cry as I sat in my car (far from my apartment due to the parking situation on my street). Although, I am thankful for late night junk food, I can’t replace what I know to be true in God by taking shortcuts to my comfort. In the morning, my stomach won’t be happy as a result of my emotional binge eating and my eyes will be swollen from tears but right now, my heart is happy because I allowed myself to find comfort in the only one I know to be true.
Verse to remember: Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
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