A Beginning Without an End

Tomorrow morning, I will turn in my last final exam (God, if your plan involves more schooling; let me down easy) and say goodbye to the 8^th floor of the HSC.  Of all the times I pictured this actually happening, I didn’t account for the sadness that will surround me.  I actually imagined every other emotion. I yearned for the satisfaction of completing the classroom requirements for a demanding program. I envisioned the pure enjoyment of filling in my student ID for the last time. I pictured the slip-N-slide I wanted to make in the hallway for my classmates and I to enjoy after we finished. I delighted in the long (an entire day) nap I could finally enjoy. And I tasted the freedom from 2 ½ years of complete madness. I didn’t account for sadness because the joy of these emotions painted a better picture for my final day of school. By ignoring sadness; I ignored the fact that the individuals who also suffered through an entire summer of electrotherapy, who got tricked by DSD true/false test question, who turned the plinth lab into their second apartment, who tripled their caffeine consumption, and who understand the comment, “if it walks like a duck, quacks, like a duck, and acts like a duck; it must be a spine” would be void from my life until May when we graduate. By ignoring sadness; I failed to realize how hard it would be to say goodbye to 29 of the most amazing people I have ever met.

As I laid in my bed, debating on whether or not to wash my sheets tonight (the idea of putting the sheets back on gets me every time), I began examining the contents of my room. And then I realized that in a few short weeks, I would be packing all of these contents up in boxes and saying goodbye to the walls of 845. The walls that tolerate my early morning concerts, ( I love to sing and play the air guitar daily) the walls I accidently put holes in with my hammering skills, the walls that contained my friends and family on many occasions, and the walls that understand my temper tantrums, my tears, my laugh, and my life. Over the course of my time spent in Morgantown, I have left my impression within the walls of both the HSC and my apartment and as hard as it is to say goodbye; I know that my memories will live on forever.

Saying goodbye in any form is never an easy thing to do. Change will always bring with it an array of emotions. And no matter how hard we try, it is impossible to hold every memory in our hearts. How awesome would it be, if we never had to say goodbye? If our lives never contained the sadness that accompanies closing a chapter to our lives. Friends, that awesomeness exists in the form of heaven. One day we will never have to worry about packing up our belongings and leaving friends behind. Heaven will be our home forever. And the memories made in our eternal home will replace the best memories made on Earth. Every time of change, every new beginning, every, moment of sadness experienced on Earth will disappear and we will be left with the everlasting bliss. Is heaven your home? Dose the golden city have a mansion made just for you? Will you be spending eternity in the only place unfamiliar with the word goodbye?  If heaven is your forever home, are the people you are most thankful for going to share in your awesomeness? Once we reach heaven, we will dance (and play the air guitar) among the streets of gold forever and it will be too late to tell our friends what awaits them. The sadness we experience when we move across the country from our family and friends is devastating and it takes months, sometimes years, for the pain of missing them to go away. Now imagine the pain of watching God himself, tell your loved one; “I do not know you. Depart from me.”  Don’t wait to share Jesus with your friends. Don’t deny those you love most of the only forever promised to us. Don’t let them live their entire lives thinking that every ending is truly the end.

Tomorrow, sadness will most definitely be present as I say goodbye to the walls of a classroom inside the HSC and sadness will be present on January 1, 2011 when I shut the door to my apartment for the last time but my sadness won’t last forever. Because as soon as I see Jesus face to face and enter heaven; my final chapter will begin. A chapter that doesn’t contain one ounce of sadness or an ending.

Verse to remember: 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.