I Want More

Yesterday afternoon I started the long process of packing up my apartment. Due to an ever-changing living situation when I was an adolescent and my 3 moves during undergrad; I have an extensive moving background. Despite my packing and moving skills, I still have a long week ahead of me. Last night, I was cleaning out my closets, cabinets, and my desk. During my adventure, I found very old pictures (that will be used in the future for those in the photo), my basket of cards I have kept over the years, old journals, my tye-dye Easter egg coloring kit (I searched for this for weeks at Easter), DVD’s still covered in plastic, BP music jam CD’s, and books…endless amounts of cookbooks and textbooks. I had cookbooks everywhere: under my bed, on top of my refrigerator, in my kitchen cabinets, and the worst part is I got 3 more for Christmas. I knew I had quite a collection of textbooks from PT school (especially since I was borderline obsessive/paranoid during my first semester and bought every required, recommended, suggested, and similar book there was) but I didn’t realize I would need a small army to carry my boxes of textbooks. (Book boxes are always my least favorite) When I finally went to bed last night (I think I outlasted my upstairs neighbors); I was certain of two things: I needed more than 24 hours in a day and I had more cookbooks and textbooks than one person should accumulate in a lifetime.

If I had more hours in the day, I would sleep longer, take time to enjoy a pot of coffee (yes, a pot), enjoy the comfort of my sweatpants longer, and add a bubble bath to my daily routine. I can’t add more hours to my day but I dream about an extra 10 hours added to my days. And this morning as I was sitting in an apartment full of boxes, clutter, and cat hair; I thought about delighting in wanting more. Not more hours in a day but more of God. My very desire to have hours added to my day is a result of giving more of myself but I want to give more to God. I want to be used for His kingdom more, I want more responsibility in Christ, I want more to add to my resume (testimony) in Him, I want more opportunities to win souls for my King, and I want to bear more fruit.  In order for me to get more in Him; I must be willing to go wherever He sends me, I must continually sharpen my sword, and I must keep giving more to Him. I must spend my days, searching for ways to give more of my time, efforts, love, resources, tithes, and abilities to Him. Do you want to give more to God? Do you have a desire to see other’s accept Christ as their savior? If you do, spend time alone with Him and examine your heart. Ask Him how you can give more.  Tell Him you want more and watch as He adds to every area of your life.

I refused to celebrate the beginning of 2010 because I knew my pap’s time on Earth was coming to an end and 2010 would be a difficult year for me. And his death was just the beginning of the pain I experienced this year. For the next 11 months I kept getting more: more pain, more heartache, more grief, more defeat, more fear, and more emptiness. But as soon as I surrendered to God; He replaced all of my brokenness with more of Him. Because He gave more; my heart was healed and I could begin to give more of myself again. I am not going to start 2011 with more hours to my day but I am going to start the New Year by wanting more. My quest to want more in God may take away from the enjoyment of extra hours of sleep, extra cups of coffee, and added bubble baths (long bubble baths). But sacrificing my favorite indulgences for the one who gave it all for me is just the beginning of what I am willing to give for more of Him.

Verse to remember:  2 Corinthians 9:6-7 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will reap generously. 7 Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.