Double Birthdays

Today, I officially met my little Gum nugget. By Gum nugget, I mean my little niece or nephew. My sister is in for Christmas and since her mother-in-law works for the radiology department at a hospital; she was able to get an ultrasound in WV. (She has had her normal ultrasounds and appointments in Houston) She was excited for all of us to go with her since it would be the only opportunity we would have to experience this part of her pregnancy with her. It’s a good thing the ultrasound technician knew my sister’s in-laws otherwise she may have been overwhelmed when there were 6 of us in the exam room. As we entered the exam room, (in a single file line) I began to feel faint. I was instantly drawn back to a similar exam room I had entered in August. An exam room where I received the news that someone I loved had lost their 10 week old fetus.  I stood by my sister with mixed emotions and my heart in my throat. I don’t remember closing my eyes but I remember hearing the words, “look there is a foot” and my eyes popped opened. And I saw my Gum nugget. An alien had never looked more beautiful.  He/she was perfect and very squirmy. In thirty minutes, I saw the legs, the feet, and the developing brain. (I even saw the tiny body bounce with a hiccup). After we had looked at every view, organ, limb, and body part the technician said, “let’s hear the heartbeat.” All of my excitement was halted and I found myself praying.  I was praying to hear a heartbeat. I was praying for my previous memory of an absent heartbeat to be replaced with the lub-dub sound of a developing heart. I was praying for a little life that had captured my heart within moments. And half way through my prayer, I heard a 5 second sound clip of a beating heart.  My little Gum nugget was strong and healthy and despite the sadness in my heart for my little baby Bray; I was overjoyed.

I think it is impossible to exclude joy from the list of emotions we feel when we find out someone we love is having a baby. And that joy is multiplied when we experience the birth of a beautiful little baby (Or Gum nugget. As soon as the sex is determined, my Gum nugget will have a name). I also think it is impossible to have even the slightest bit of joy when you receive news that someone you love has had a miscarriage. I have experienced both this year and as I was having some alone time (of course I was driving) I thought of a woman who experienced a similar situation. She didn’t have a miscarriage. In fact, she gave birth to a King. She didn’t experience the loss of her unborn child. In fact, the birth of her child was the most miraculous birth ever recorded.  But she did watch her son die. She watched Him be crucified on a cross. Mary watched Jesus hang on the cross and take His last breath. I can’t even imagine how she could physically, mentally, or emotionally withstand such an event. But because I have personally experienced the genuine awesomeness of Christ, I like to believe that she watched the crucifixion of Christ because in her heart she was certain of His genuine awesomeness as well. She knew that He was more powerful than the cross; she knew that He was in fact the son of God; she knew that the cross wasn’t the end.  But did she know that on that day her son would die? Did she know the extent of the pain that awaited her? Did she know that in 3 days He would rise again? Did she know that the pain of the cross was going to be replaced with the joy of life? The cross doesn’t represent death; it represents life. Jesus went to the cross fully knowing He was going to die. But He also knew that we wouldn’t always remember the cross as just His death. He knew that once we asked Him into our hearts; we would see the cross as life. Our new life in Him; Our life that we inherited ONLY because he went to the cross.  Because of His death, we have been born again. And like any birth, our birth contains unspeakable joy. On the day of our personal salvation, I know it is impossible to exclude joy from the list of emotions we feel. Do you have a birthday of salvation in Christ? Have you experienced joy in its purest form?  If not, today is your day. Jesus is waiting to replace the pain of the cross with a new life in Him.

Until today, the picture of an ultrasound reminded me of death.  Even the word ultrasound brought back memories of a dying child. But today when I saw my little Gum nugget touching his/her face and heard the tiniest heartbeat ever; an ultrasound reminded me of the gift of life. Until July 22, 1998, the cross reminded me of death. But on that day when I asked Christ into my heart; I was born again and reminded of the gift of life. And for days the only emotion I was certain of was joy. The joy that will come when I finally meet my little Gum nugget (Hurry up June 16^th) will never compare to the joy of sharing the gift of salvation with my niece/nephew one day.

Verse to remember: Revelation 21:5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” The he said, “write this down for these words are trustworthy and true.” 6 He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.”