Monday, November 18, 2013

Masterpiece Treats

Yesterday afternoon, I had a phone conversation with my nephew. He told me his suitcase was packed to come to “West Birginia” for Turkey day. He then proceeded to tell me that he would like for me to have treats in my suitcase when I picked him up at the airport. He doesn’t fully understand that I won’t have a suitcase at the airport but at two years old he has fully mastered the understanding that when I come to “Hutsie’s” house-I come with a suitcase packed full of bare necessities and numerous treats for him. Even though every visit to Houston is filled with massive amounts of high fructose corn syrup and my heart explodes with overwhelming happiness when we eat ice cream from the carton, share cupcakes for breakfast, or sneak guppies (known as fruit snacks to the rest of the world) upstairs before bedtime, my favorite treats are his artistic masterpieces. I know that my sister is the mastermind and driving force behind most of my Hudson masterpieces but his scribbles and stickers are his own personal touch, his own way of making me the most blessed aunt on the planet. I have kept every piece of artwork he has ever sent me in 2 years and I love them all beyond words but during my last visit, he painted me my absolute favorite masterpiece to date. We were at the Houston Children’s museum and while he was painting my sister asked him what his picture was called. His response, “I love aunt Jay Jay.” Yes, I am proud to say that I cried in a crowded museum in front of God and everybody as soon as the words left his mouth. And I am proud to say that no one could ever love that little dude more than his Aunt Jay Jay.

Despite my increased ability to draw trains and railroad crossings (Hudson’s favorite things), my artistic abilities rank pretty low on my list of talents. If you’ve ever seen my drawings you would support my claim that I won’t be producing masterpieces anytime soon. But my (and your) very existence is a masterpiece created by God. He is the mastermind and driving force behind every part of my being. He knows my inmost thoughts, fears, and desires. He knows all of my faults, failures, and shortcomings. He knows every hardship I will face; every situation I will overcome. And he knows every painful scar of my heart. I wish I could be proud to say that if you saw the canvas that God saw, you would see a beautiful masterpiece, but you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t because I have put my own personal touches on my life. I have splattered my canvas with sin, shame, fear, anger, pride, resentment, and bitterness. I have left stickers and scribbles I wish I could permanently erase. I have allowed the stains of worldly opinions outweigh the saving grace and redeeming blood of Jesus. I have allowed my tattered version of myself be the framework of my life opposed to allowing God to make all things new. I have viewed God’s most skillful, intricate, beautiful artistic skills like black paint stains on the Mona Lisa. But despite my attempts to ruin God’s masterpiece, He still loves me beyond words. He still wipes away every “ugly” area of my life and puts His own personal touches on it. He uses what I once saw as permanent vandalism to his beautiful creation as a way to show Himself off through me. He takes every one of my poor artistic talents and refines it until I see exactly what He sees. The refining process isn’t always enjoyable or as short as I would like but necessary in order for my life to be a testimony of who He is. A testimony that despite what I see or more importantly what the world sees; I am God’s masterpiece. It’s easy to be defeated by the world’s view of who we are and it’s even easier to take yourself down the “you are a no good dirty bum” road in your own life.  Satan finds great delight in keeping us from who we are in Christ because quite frankly he’s scared to death of the power we will come to know once we realize who we are in Christ. It takes strength and a genuine relationship with the one who created you to understand that He loves you in spite of your poor artistic abilities. To understand that we may see scribbles but the one holding the paintbrush sees a masterpiece. To understand that we may have to wait until the day we meet our maker/artist to stand in awe of the finished masterpiece.  But to me the wait is worth it because I know God is proud to say in front of everyone, no one will ever love this little dudette like He does.

Saturday afternoon, I will show up at the airport with a bag (or suitcase) full of numerous treats for the most fabulous two year old in the galaxy. To him, it will be system overload as he sifts through all of his favorite high fructose corn syrup snacks. To his parents, it will be a reminder to buy my future children ten times as many treats and the beginning of their “you are going to give him diabetes” speech. To me, it will be moment number six zillion of favorites with my main squeeze. My main squeeze, Jesus, whose greatest artistic masterpiece to date was fearfully and wonderfully creating me to be my favorite everything’s Aunt Jay Jay.

Verse to remember:

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.


Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

G Man

Last Christmas, I inherited a wee puppy named Gio. And although he has taken me through the peaks and valleys of the puppy world; I love him so very much. His most endearing and annoying quality is his excitement to see me (or anyone he is familiar with) upon entering his domain. It’s endearing because he consistently shows love and devotion. It is annoying because his greeting is usually accompanied by a few dribbles of excitement pee and a gift. His gifts range from a chew toy to a pair of underwear he has managed to dig out of the laundry. Nonetheless, it’s his way of saying hi and assuring me that he (if absolutely no one else in that day) is super excited to see me. Although I love G man for his one of a kind greeting, I love him most because he has absolutely zero retention of our human behaviors. His devotion, love, and excitement remain consistent even when he gets tormented (by tormented I mean chased by children or having his favorite toys placed out of his reach), denied government cheese or peanut butter, takes a heated lashing after eating expensive shoes, or gets my “angry mom” face when using the bathroom for the second time on a walk when I only brought one bag.  Regardless of the events of our day Gio is always my constant four-legged best man. He always chooses to love me and ensure that I feel that love the moment he runs to my feet with his most prized possession of the hour dangling out of his mouth, leaving a puddle of pee at my feet.

On July 23, 1999, I inherited a savior named Jesus. And although He has taken me through the peaks and valleys of this life, I love Him s very much. His most endearing and annoying quality is His excitement to see me (or absolutely anyone) when I enter into His presence. It’s endearing because He consistently shows endless love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and devotion. It’s annoying because He doesn’t always lead me in the direction I want to go or answer my prayers exactly how I want Him to. I don’t really think Jesus is annoying and my many (and I do mean many) journeys through the peaks and valleys have allowed me to see that what I call annoying; He calls obedient faith. But like Gio, Jesus always greets me with a gift when I choose obedient faith opposed to one of the million answers found within the Jay Garcia handbook of disobedience. Of course, it’s easy to choose faith when the gifts from above are evident and overflowing but how many of us choose to exercise the limits of our faith when the gift we need (or think we need) is nowhere to be found. What if your gift is negative genetic testing results of your unborn nephew when you’re helplessly a time zone away? Or what if your gift is found within the discovery that your partner of 10 years has been unfaithful? Or what if the gift is watching your sister hit rock bottom due to a drug addiction because it’s the only way God can rescue her?  Yes, friends this are all recent events of my life and despite my extreme human behaviors, Jesus and His endless love has remained constant. I have tormented His heart with my rebellion and lack of faith but not because He is a vengeful savior. But because all He ever wanted was for me to stand strong firm in my faith and let Him take care of everything. While I was consistently putting my heart in a blender and hitting pulse, doubting everything I have ever known to be true about Jesus, He was consistently praying for me. The God of the universe had/has my whole world in His hands gentling molding it so that I could experience every desire of my heart and instead of letting Him be God, I bunker down in my valley prepared to cry out my current situation. The problem with running away from God when the weight of the world comes crashing down on me is that I can’t feel His love. His love is there and the problem isn’t Him; its all me. God is always standing with his outstretched arm waiting for His most prized possession to come to His feet. He doesn’t care if I dribble pee or bring shame, doubt, fear, and rebellion with me. He will always be there forgetting about my human behaviors of the day and ensure that I feel His love. A love so strong that it has allowed me to choose obedient faith over and over again even when the gift I need or more importantly the gift God has for me is accompanied by deep pain. Pain is only temporary and a necessary part of our walk with God. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to testify to the greatness of who He is. Without it I wouldn’t be able to increase my faith in my favorite two-legged best man.

Tonight, when I finally drift off to sleep I will have a little fur ball snuggled up next to me. Despite my attempts to move him in order to have a more peaceful nights sleep, he will always reposition himself. Tonight, tomorrow, and every day for the rest of my life, when I am desperate to feel God’s love and am tested in the limits of my faith, I will have the King of Kings snuggled up next to me. And despite my attempts to move Him because I desperately want to run, He will reposition himself. He will reposition himself until I have total peace in Him-until I am at His feet wagging my tail dragging all of the gifts He has given me.

Verse to remember:
Psalm 136:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever.

1 Peter 5:6-7 So humble yourself under the mighty power of God and in His good time, He will honor you. Give all of your worries/cares to God for He cares about what happens to you.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

I'll Take Jesus for Eternity, Alex


One of my deepest confessions is, I love more people under twelve than over twelve. Part of my love for children lies within the fact that I am a twenty-eight (almost twenty nine) year old child at heart and the other part of my love lies within my deep appreciation and admiration for the innocent care free hearts and minds of children. I have MANY children who hold the key to my heart and remind me daily of how blessed I am to be their “adult” best friend and role model. I am also blessed by parents who welcome endless cupcake baking, “Jay” haircuts, pudding eating in bathtubs, and my own personal quotes and quotables. (Bizzle, Wackado, and craptastic have become common phrases among my tots) Last August, my life was forever changed and my blessings quadrupled when a fantabulous six-year-old diva officially adopted me as a sister.  Since that time we have established quite a list of sister musts including: nightly sister teeth brushing rituals (complete with Justin Beiber music and our best eight count dance moves), sister secret handshakes, serious sister talks, and most importantly sister date nights. Tonight, I was fortunate enough to have a sister date. Our date consisted of Michael Jackson Dance on the Wii, ice cream sundaes, homemade matching T-shirts, car dancing/singing (with sunglasses on), an intense game of this or that, and a Greek yogurt eating contest. This or that was an invention from the mind of the wisest six-year-old God ever created. (The ice cream was an invention from the best junk food eating twenty-eight year old God ever created) This or that is a simple but very entertaining game. One person picks two items and the other person picks the option they like the best. Some of my personal favorites from this evening were: shampoo or conditioner, mustache or beard, drinking or slurping, and gas pedal or brake pedal. Clearly, my resume proves that I am a low maintenance no conditioner, turned off by facial hair, slurping, speed racer kind of gal so my answers were usually predictable. But it wasn’t the suspense that made this new game entertaining, it was turning ordinary everyday occurrences into memories with greater meaning simply because I was able to share laughter with my sister as we gave our responses.

Laughter is one of the many benefits of having such a fab sister but her greatness begins in her heart. (I would be doing her an injustice if I didn’t add that she also picks out my clothes and gives me advice on exercise, marriage, and music) Her heart reflects all that truly matters in this life. Yes, I am completely biased but I can support my claims by her answers to our new game tonight. She chose forgiveness over forgetting. Half full over half empty. Giving over receiving. Family over friends. And sisters over boyfriends. (Now you know why I am biased) I would have picked the exact same answers simply because everyday I choose Jesus. And because I choose Him, I strive to live like him daily. But my choices aren’t as pure and genuine as those of a child. My choices come after years of heartache, numerous failures and regrets, and unfortunately many unwise choices. My choices are a daily struggle of flesh verses spirit. It’s much easier to choose my will over God’s will. It’s much more bearable to choose to live within my emotions opposed to live beyond them. And it’s much more convenient to say, “Yo God, I got this so just trust me” opposed to believing Him when He says, “Yo Jay, I got this so just trust me.” As much as I love God and as convinced as I am that He is always the best choice, I still have moments where I struggle with choosing Him. It’s definitely not something I am proud of but it’s something that all Christians can relate to at some point in their walk with the Lord. When I am faced with those moments and know I have a choice to make, I simply get on my knees. I turn to my Father with my childlike heart and say, “I have no idea how I am going to get through this moment but I do know that I need you to be here now.” I pray that prayer daily. I am not ashamed of my dependency on Christ because my dependency is a direct result of continually choosing Him. I am also not ashamed to say that I have chosen everything but Jesus at times. And it was during those times that I found myself more broken, battered, and lost than I could have ever imagined. It was during those times I felt completely alone. I no longer have to doubt God, His will, or His promises to me. I no longer have to doubt that He is the only choice for me. I no longer have to make any choice in this world alone. Jesus is and always will be the best choice friends. He doesn’t promise us a life without pain but He does promise us a prosperous life-A life that will lead us to eternal glory with Him as long as we choose Him each and every day. So I ask you this; Jesus or Fill in the blank? I say fill in the blank because only you know what you put above Jesus in your own lives-Only you know the depths of your personal relationship with Christ. You have a choice to make and I can assure you that if you chose Jesus, He will meet you where you are and make all things new. He will allow your heart to reflect all that truly matters in life.

I tell my sister daily, that I want to be just like her when I grow up. She always laughs and reminds me that she knows because I just told her yesterday. The truth is, I do want to be just like her. Not because she is much more bizzle than I could ever dream to be but because she chooses Jesus without hesitation and without even realizing it. That’s the legacy I want to leave behind- that’s the legacy my under twelve best friend following deserves.

Verse to remember:
John 20:27-29
27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Choosey Moms Choose Jesus



My coffee obsession in known by all who are privileged to be a part of my inner circle of peeps (Bit of truth, I am thankful to be surrounded by such a great circle of peeps) but my peanut butter obsession is only known to a select few. If you’ve been unfortunate enough to be around me during one of my many emotional binge-eating quests, then you’ve witnessed my ever so perfect Jiff jar spoon licking skills. I don’t just indulge in the bliss of peanut butter when I am on an emotional roller coaster…I indulge it in every chance I get. To me, everything is better with a dollop of gooey delicious fat filled peanut butter. My personal favorite PB concoctions include: peanut butter and blueberry sandwiches, chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzels, peanut butter Thai sauce, peanut butter waffles with walnuts and cinnamon, and melted peanut butter on top of vanilla bean ice cream. (If y’all thought I turned healthy on you during my hiatus, you can put that thought to rest now.) Another bit of truth, I love all the above mentioned foods without the addition of PB but the absence of my favorite goo decrease the overall ka-pow taste bud factor.

I proudly wear my love for food on my sleeve and when my favorite older sister is in town, I proudly wear my love for food on the waistline of my yoga pants. To me a bad day can be instantly transformed with a cup of dark roast full flavor coffee and any food option containing at least 500 calories and peanut butter. Great taste in coffee/food and an even greater circle of peeps makes every day of my life (the good, bad, ugly, and painful) extremely better. But my true comfort in this life is Jesus. He is the goo that holds me together when my world is falling apart. He is the goo that makes absolutely everything better. So much so that I would give up my coffee/peanut butter addiction this moment (well after I finish my venti iced coffee) because I am convinced He is all I need. But He doesn’t work that way-He doesn’t require us to sacrifice our temporary comforts in order to receive His permanent comfort. He does however take away from our lives in order for us to receive the fullness of the abundant life He has for us. He doesn’t lead us to a valley to punish us or destroy us, or in my case force me to increase my coffee intake. He leads us into the valleys of life in order to grow in Him. To make our faith greater than our fears. To allow us to truly experience the comfort of Jesus Christ for perhaps the very first time. From experience, this process can be brutally painful and extremely difficult, especially when we try to rely on our own strength. Every morning, my mind and my strength (and my sleepiness) are renewed when my first sip of coffee hits my lips but nothing renews me like an overflowing cup of Jesus. He is my ultimate Ka-Pow factor friends. He is the keeper of my heart and my very best friend. Because I have been a resident of many valleys and a dweller in many pits, I have a long list of my favorite Jesus concoctions. My concoctions don’t include any fattening ingredients; they include a long list of scriptures. Scriptures that I recite daily-scriptures that I turn to when I need to satisfy my emotional binge eating soul. I recently had a moment in my life where I told Jesus, “Not only are you all I need, You are all I have.” And when massive amounts of caffeine, twizzlers, and peanut butter did nothing for my broken heart, Jesus whispered in my ear and said, “Give me your heart and I’ll put in back together for you.” In the darkest valley of my life, I looked beyond my temporary comforts and chose Jesus. Are you in a valley today? Have you licked every spoon in your kitchen clean after days of emotional eating? (No judgment, I have eaten ice cream 4 days in a row) Are you wondering why all of your temporary comforts leave you empty inside? If you are, choose Jesus. He is the overflowing gooey deliciousness we all need to make everything better. He is the secret ingredient to our peace and our comfort. His word (the B-I-B-L-E) is the only way we can ensure that we always satisfy our spiritual taste buds.

I know many of you won’t be eating peanut butter and blueberry sandwiches for lunch tomorrow but I pray that you will feast on Jesus. He can do more for you in a blink of an eye than you ever thought possible.  He can do more for you than massive amounts of vanilla bean ice cream smothered with warm peanut butter.

Verse to remember:
2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.