A Baby Changes Everything

On Thursday, Hudson turned a week old and had his very first visit to the pediatrician. I opted to stay at home so I could do some laundry and clean the house while everyone was gone and so we wouldn’t look like the crazy obsessive family who brings nine people to a newborn’s first office visit. (Not that the list of twenty three questions we accumulated in a week made us look any less obsessive.)  In two hours, I was able to minimize the damage that had occurred to Gum household since the arrival of Mr. Hudson Gum and I was able to minimize the work for the maid who was coming later that afternoon. Had I known she was going to wrap my cord tightly around my flat iron; I would have planned my morning differently. (I am still recovering from the emotional trauma of my wrapped flat iron cord) Shortly after the maid arrived; my family returned and my sister confirmed what I already knew to be true: Hudson was a perfect baby who captured the hearts of his pediatrician. She also confirmed that I will be leaving Houston ten pounds heavier than I weighed when I arrived by announcing that she brought home a dozen cupcakes from Crave. She initially bought the cupcakes to celebrate my birthday for a second time because the first round of cupcakes dried out due to the neglect they received when Hudson was born. But since I am clearly the world’s greatest aunt; I turned my 27 year old birthday cupcakes into Hudson’s 1 week old birthday cupcakes. Don’t worry, I know I am hooked, wrapped, over the top, and completely in love with my nephew and I’m completely aware that for the rest of my life I will have to refrain myself from spoiling him to much. And I also know that I am going to have to refrain myself from moving to Texas because our morning snuggle time and the smell of his baby magic lotion have spoiled me too much the past 10 days.

For my entire life, I have heard the saying: “A baby changes everything” and I wish I could meet the person responsible for starting the saying because they are exactly right. Of course, a baby changes your sleep schedule, the organization of your home, and your physical appearance. ( I now take my showers mid afternoon and am most awake at 3:00 AM) But a baby also changes the way you view life. I am not talking about the instant change in behaviors and mindsets of parental instincts (or in my case Aunt instincts); I am talking about changes in behaviors and mindsets of our spiritual instincts. When you hold a newborn baby in your arms and soak in the delicate intricateness of their tiny being; you view God in an entirely different way. It is almost like for the first time in your life, you see the world through His eyes and truly grasp that only God could create something so perfect. He did create every one of us friends and although He provided every delicate detail to our physical bodies; He didn’t create us to change anything. But He did create us with a need to love and serve the Baby who changed everything. The only way we can elicit change within ourselves is to live for Jesus. We don’t have the power to change anything of worth on our own. Of course, we can change our careers, our fashion senses, our dreams, and even our daily routines but we can’t change the way we view life if our change exists apart from Jesus.  Life isn’t about viewing the external change through our eyes; it is about viewing the internal change through Gods eyes. God examines our hearts and He is looking for only one thing: To see if His baby is inside of our hearts. Once we accept Jesus into our hearts; He changes everything so we reflect His image and are radiant with His light. It is only through our transformation in Christ that we are able to make a true change within ourselves and ultimately a change in the lives of others. God’s desire for us is to bear fruit through our transformation in Him and the fruit we bear is what ultimately changes other’s lives; it is ultimately what draws others in so they open up their hearts to receive Jesus as their personal Savior. We have the power to wrap so many people around God’s finger and we have the abilities to change everything. Will you allow yourself to grow in Christ so you can change everything? Will you change your views from the external fruit we bear to the internal fruit we bear? Will you allow Jesus to be the ultimate baby who permanently changes your life?

Hudson has changed my life in so many ways in just ten days. For the first time in my life, I want to bear my own children so I can experience the joys of being a mommy. Regardless of whether or not I ever bear a child of my own; I will bear the fruit of my Father. I will exist to change others lives by allowing my Father to change me first. I will live my entire life to hear Him say, “ Having you changed everything” just so I can respond with, “No, having Jesus in my heart changed everything.”

Verse to remember: Matthew 7:15-21  ¹⁵ “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. ¹⁶ By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? ¹⁷ Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. ¹⁸ A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. ¹⁹ Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. ²⁰ Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.  ²¹ “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

Swaddled to Satisfaction

For all of my A-list readers, you know that I always choose to write about some random daily encounter or daily thought that triggers an idea about the most important relationship of my life: my relationship with Jesus. And for the next 8 days ya’ll (I have picked up a little Texas slang) will be hearing about my newest relationship: my relationship with my nephew Hudson. I’ll be writing about him because I literally spend my entire day with him (If you could smell his skin and see his face, you would spend all day with him too) so he consumes most of my daily thoughts and encounters. And last night for the first time in his five short days on this Earth; our encounters weren’t very pleasant. In fact, if he didn’t steal my heart in his rubber ducky footed onesie, his three hour screaming fest may have pushed me over the sanity cliff. My poor little angel monkey(Hudson has many names from Aunt Jay because every other word out of my mouth is some form of baby babble) has acid reflux and every time (no exaggeration, ever time) we put him in his pack and play; he wailed out in pain. We tried to swaddle him, we tried gas relief medicine, we tried a sound machine, we tried different sleeping positions, and we tried rocking him but his little tender tummy won out every time. The only time he would be completely satisfied was if someone would hold him. During the day, I draw straws with grammy and wait for mommy to take a nap so I can have snuggle time but my competitive nature wasn’t as competitive at two AM. His mommy and daddy endured most of the sleep deprivation and helplessness of watching him be in pain but as I laid awake in my bed; I prayed so much that his reflux would go away and he would find satisfaction in one of his parent’s many attempts to relief his pain.

It took my brother-in-law Ryan, a few hours of sleep and some persistent observation of his son to develop a new sleeping plan. He elevated his crib mattress with a towel roll, used a new swaddle blanket, turned on the sound machine monkey, and placed wedges beside him in his crib. We all held our breath as Ryan placed Hudson in his crib, (I prayed and debated whether I wanted iced coffee or brewed coffee to stay awake) and within moments the sweet baby who captured all of our hearts had returned, drifting into a deep peaceful sleep. I was so thankful that my angel monkey could sleep without being in pain (and thankful that my sister could get some much needed sleep) and so proud of my brother-in-law for using his engineering brain to alter Hudson’s crib. (My nephew is destined to be National Science Fair champion) Newborn babies clearly can’t talk so our pursuit to relieve Hudson’s pain and satisfy him lasted longer than any of us ever wanted to endure. In the past week, I have learned that my ability to speak hasn’t eliminated my pursuit to relieve my pain and find complete satisfaction in God. I have always known this but this past week has re-opened some past emotional scars, making it very difficult for me to be completely satisfied in Christ. Honestly, I have endured many sleepless nights of my own trying to understand God and understand His methods and rationale for my life. I have struggled to fully understand God’s methods and I have struggled to put a stop to Satan using my mind as his personal playground but I haven’t stopped trusting God. My own plan of drawing straws in order to find complete satisfaction in Christ wasn’t working and I knew it. My normal plan that consists of reading my bible, praying, and staying obedient to God regardless of my situation wasn’t working because Satan held the key to my satisfaction in his hands. I had surrendered my joy and peace to Satan as soon as my pain became too intense to handle on my own and I began envisioning my life through my eyes and not through the eyes of God. Like my brother-in-law, God knows how to alter the life of His child in order to relieve my pain and sleepless nights; I just have to stand firm in Him while He uses his Omni-present brain to fix my life. Trust me friends, it is much easier to say, “I will stand firm” than to actually stand firm. Setting our hearts and our minds to Christ alone requires work and extreme obedience and honestly there are times when I don’t have any desire to find the strength required to stand firm in Christ so I don’t. And when I don’t I feel an emptiness inside my soul. I feel empty because instead of drawing nearer to Christ during my time of brokenness; I am distancing myself from Him. The only thing worse than feeling unsatisfied in Christ is not feeling Him at all. If you listen to anything I have ever said during my late night babbles; listen to this. Removing Christ from your life or separating yourself from Him is never the answer. God never asks us to bear more than we are capable to bear and His plan for us is always to give us hope and to prosper us. God daily sits on His throne, waiting for us to say to Him, “ I have tried every remedy possible and I am still not satisfied so I am surrendering to you.” Have you turned to God for complete satisfaction? If you have chosen Him, do you trust Him completely? We can’t grow in Christ and we can’t be fully satisfied in Him if our level of trust always remains the same. We can’t be satisfied in Him if our lack of trust allows Satan to entertain our joy and peace while we lay awake at night trying to understand God. I know that I will never fully understand God but I also know that the only way I will ever remain fully satisfied in Him is to completely trust Him. I also know that as soon as I decide to take a day off from standing firm in Christ; I inflate Satan’s tricycle tires and give him the go ahead to use my brain as his personal playground. When I allow Satan to entertain my thoughts and desires not only does he succeed at diminishing my satisfaction in Christ but he succeeds at halting my growth in Christ. In both cases, God’s pursuit to remove my pain and completely satisfy me lasts longer than He wants.

It is almost 1:30 in the morning and Hudson is still sleeping soundly in his crib. I am prayerfully claiming that Ryan’s sleep time system for his son has stopped the pain from his reflux and satisfied him completely. As I swaddle myself up in my air mattress (I gave Grammy Gum the guest bedroom), I will prayerfully claim that my Heavenly Father’s methods for His daughter will stop my current pain and satisfy me completely.

Verse to remember: 1 Peter 1:3-9 ³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴ and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, ⁵ who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹ for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

It Was Love At First Sight

Three days ago, I was blessed to have the once in a lifetime experience of watching my first nephew’s birth. The moment I saw him enter this world; my life changed forever. It was definitely love at first sight. (We kissed on the first date) I fell in love with his tiny feet, his perfect nose, and his long arms with the fingers that wrapped Aunt Jay instantly. My love for my little snuggle monkey expanded to a level I didn’t know existed when I held him for the first time. As tears stained my cheeks, I looked at his peaceful face, felt the warmth of his skin, and watched his chest rise rhythmically with mine. Time stood still and all I could do was cry and thank God for creating the most perfect baby in the entire world. (Of course, I am partial but he is the cutest baby I have EVER seen) I could have stood in the delivery room for a lifetime just staring at him and kissing his head but the nurses at the Woman’s hospital of Texas (and mommy) made me give him back so he could get the proper “welcome to the world” examination. Fortunately, I was still love struck when I handed him back to my sister and didn’t put up much of a fight. And fortunately, Hudson loves his aunt Jay just as much as I love him and prefers to snuggle on my chest when mommy and daddy sleep. I am not rejoicing in the fact that my sister and brother-in-law have a lot of adjusting to do to their previous schedules(I fixed them breakfast at noon today and last night I was grilling chicken at 9:00) but I am secretly rejoicing in the fact that I benefit from their newly crazy schedules. And my benefits get better with each snuggle time and forehead kiss.

The love I have in my heart for my nephew is unlike any emotion I have ever experienced. I sit by my sister when she breastfeeds him just to watch him and I offer to change every diaper just so I can kiss his feet. I truly don’t know how I ever lived without him and more importantly I don’t know how I am going to fly back to West Virginia without him. (Maybe I can sneak him on the plane with me) In just three days, I have changed everything from my sleeping schedule to my burping techniques because of my love for one special little boy. Can you imagine the love God had for us when he created His special little boy? Can you imagine giving up cuddle times, the smell of baby lotions, and tiny fingers that grasp your face to people who would ultimately crucify your son? I personally can’t. I would cut off my arms with a dull butter knife in order to protect Hudson and I would give anything to bottle him up and keep him forever. And he is my nephew not my son. But God gave up His son so I could have as much snuggle time with Hudson as I could stand. He gave up His son so my life would be forever changed. When God created me in my mother’s womb; it was love at first sight. Of course, He fell in love with my ugly feet, my dark eyes, and my dimple but I hope He fell in love with my heart; my heart that has been changed because of His son. Jesus has changed my heart in a million ways but no matter how in love with Him I become; I still go back to the first moment I held Him in my heart. I go back to the moment of my salvation. It was the first time God’s sacrifice became real to me. It was the first time I was love struck by Jesus. I couldn’t possibly change my heart without Jesus and neither can you friends. You may never have the joy of holding a newborn baby against your chest and falling in love instantly but you can have the experience of holding Jesus in your heart and falling in love instantly. My heart belongs to Jesus and some days that thought alone gets me out of bed to face another day. My heart belongs to Jesus and some days I hope that thought alone takes away God’s pain of giving up His son to be crucified. God created us to love His son; He created us to know the benefits of His special little boy. Do you have a personal relationship with His son? Do you have your own love struck moment with Jesus? Don’t wait friends. God loves us just as much as He loved Jesus and He wants to kiss your forehead and feel your tiny hands grasp His face. He wants to protect you, bottle you up, and keep you forever.

Every morning when I hold Hudson and look into his eyes, my heart melts and I cry. I imagine summer camp outs (as long as there aren’t bats and spiders), zoo trips, and ice cream outings with my snuggle monkey. Then the thoughts in my mind vanish and his perfectness draws me in and I fall in love all over again. Every morning when I allow Jesus to hold me, my heart melts and I cry. I imagine my career, the next decade of my life, and my hurts (and the negative effects of my ice cream addiction).  Then the thoughts of my mind vanish and His perfectness draws me in and I fall in love all over again, changing my heart a little more to reflect the most special little boy God ever created.

Verse to remember: Psalm 36: 7-8 ⁷ How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
   People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. ⁸ They feast on the abundance of your house;  you give them drink from your river of delights.

Hudson, You were worth the wait

My day started at 7:30 AM when I heard my brother-in-law talking. I listened for awhile to make sure my sister wasn’t in labor and just as I was almost certain everything was ok (and thankful to go back to sleep) my sister came into my room and said, “We are going to the doctor in an hour, I think I am having contractions.” Brandy seemed very calm and very relaxed so I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to start the coffee pot. As I was watching the coffee pot finish brewing; my sister grabbed her kitchen counter and endured another contraction. This time, she didn’t look as calm and relaxed as she had moments before. I timed her contractions and realized not only did I not have time for coffee; I didn’t have time to shower (or fix my bed head that resembled Elvis’s hair).  Hudson was making his entrance into the world today and all of my energy and time shifted from me to my sister and my nephew. When we arrived at the OBGYN’s office, he did a quick exam, told my sister she was dilated to a 4, and sent us to the hospital. (I would like to take this time to brag about my sister who endured 4 hours of contractions and 3 centimeters of dilation before waking up Ryan and I.) Once at the hospital, my sister received her epidural and the waiting game began. As we were waiting for my nephew to make his grand entrance, Ryan and I watched a movie and Brandy slept as much as she could between nurses checking on her and her contractions. (I definitely had the better end of the deal) Five hours after receiving her epidural my sister gave birth to Hudson Ross Gum; the most perfect snuggle bear God ever created.

The five hours I spent waiting at the hospital for my nephew to arrive went by very quickly (Partly because we were in a labor suite and partly because I was beyond ecstatic to meet Hudson.) and when it was go time; Aunt Jay was ready to help coach mommy thru her delivery. I can honestly say I would have waited 300 years to meet Hudson because he is that perfect. (I can also honestly say I will never be able to leave him in 2 weeks) But could I, or could you, honestly say we would wait 300 years for God? When God’s plan for our lives requires us to wait on Him, how do we respond? When I have to wait for God to reveal Himself to me in a way that allows me to feel His presence; I don’t always wait patiently. In fact, it took me many years to even wait at all. Waiting on God to move in our lives requires us to have a genuinely strong relationship with Him. And that relationship requires a lot of work. If I wasn’t completely in love with God, I can assure you I wouldn’t wait for Him to make the desires of my heart realities to me. Because I love Him so much, I don’t spend my days focused on what I am waiting for or what I need from Him; I spend my days worshiping Him and serving Him while I wait. And the best part is, the more I fall in love with Him; the less I crave my needs and wants. I crave Jesus friends and my cravings for Him minimize my own personal waiting game. Loving and serving God doesn’t make Him change His mind about my journey in Him; it changes my mind about my journey in Him. It opens up my eyes and allows me to see that God remains the same despite my circumstances. And because He is the same, I will love, worship, and adore Him the same everyday.  I don’t wake up each day and see defeat and pain from the impossibilities in my life. I wake up each day and see the only one who can turn my defeats and pains into His glory. God’s timing and Jay Garcia’s timing aren’t always the same (usually I’m off by A LOT) but when the wait is finally over; this 27 year old snuggle bug can honestly say God is the beyond perfect and the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

My sister endured 9 months of pregnancy and perhaps the smoothest delivery in the state of Texas (after her hormones regulate; I’ll tell her I have it all on video) and when her son was placed on her chest; the world around her stopped and nothing else mattered in that moment. Each and everyone of us will endure our predetermined time on this Earth and it most definitely won’t always be smooth. But when God’s son places in hand in ours and leads us to our Father; the world around us will disappear and in that moment nothing else will matter; not even the wait we endured to get there. 

My wait has been longer than nine months but my heart will be just as happy when I finally meet my unborn niece/nephew when I get to heaven. Aunt Jay loves you so much Baby Bray...you are my angel snuggle bear.

Verse to remember: Psalm 33: 20-22 We wait in hope for the LORD;  he is our help and our shield. ²¹ In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. ²² May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

 

Sharing Good Habits

Saturday evening I left WV and headed to Houston to spend 2 weeks with my sister and brother-in-law and most importantly my soon to be born nephew. As I boarded my plane, I knew it would be the first flight of my entire life in which I did not sleep while in the air. (I usually fall asleep during the seat belt/oxygen mask instructions) Excitement was the main reason my brain stayed awake but the screaming child in front of me who also enjoyed pulling my hair when I leaned forward in my seat was a close second. I was excited to see my sister’s belly bump. I was excited to finally see their new house. I was excited for fantabulous sushi. I was excited to play maid, cook, and sister all at the same time. And I was mostly excited to meet my nephew (and smell his head and kiss his feet). I have been here for two and a half days and Hudson Ross Gum still hasn’t made his entrance into the world so my excitement continues to grow. Because he is waiting to make his grand entrance; I have had two days to sleep in, drink pots of coffee, and most importantly take care of my sister and brother-in-law. Since they are both working until the delivery, I want to do everything I can for them while they are at work. Last night my sister told me she didn’t want me to spend 2 weeks making beds and folding laundry but I can’t help it. I can’t help it because over the past 6 months I have developed many new cleaning habits and taken my desire to invest in the lives of others to a higher level because of the woman who is my own personal maid, cook, and momma all at the same time.

This morning my cleaning habits included making two beds, doing three loads of laundry, wiping (not mopping) the kitchen floor, washing dishes, and taking out the trash. (For the record, never again will I complain about making my bed after making a King size memory foam bed.) After this morning, I accepted the fact that my old ways had been changed as I habitually cleaned and organized the entire Gum house.(I have a blue cup in Houston that I leave beside the kitchen sink where it belongs...some habits aren't meant to be broken) I’m thankful that I am able to share my cleaning habits with my family as we all wait anxiously for my nephew to arrive but I am more thankful that I have 2 weeks to share my habits in Christ. Just as I changed my ways of leaving my bed unmade for weeks at a time and changed my ways of washing my whites separately; I changed my ways in Christ. I no longer go weeks without Him; I talk to Him as soon as I wake up in the morning (having coffee with Jesus is my all time favorite). I no longer separate Him from parts of my life I wish to control; I give Him every aspect of my life. I no longer wait until every area of my life needs cleaned up to turn to God; I invite Him in to clean me up as much as He wants everyday. My cleaning habits didn’t develop overnight and neither did my habits in Christ but both habits continue to improve when I dedicate time specifically to improving my habits. I can’t share any of my habits if I lack the skill necessary to complete the task. The only way to lack the skill necessary to share habits in Christ is to remove Him from our lives friends. We can’t share Him if other’s don’t see Him in us. We can’t share Him if we only live for Him when no one else is watching. My habits in Christ remain constant no matter where I go. I don’t change my faith, my mindset, my behaviors, or my actions that are grounded in Christ. In fact, I go back to my favorite habit: prayer. I ask Him to reveal Himself through me to everyone I cross paths with on a daily basis. I ask Him to give me the strength to stand strong when I am attacked or even betrayed by those who don’t understand or appreciate my relationship with Him. I ask Him to forgive me when I fail to represent Him. I ask Him to give me the opportunity to share my habits with others, leading the way to share His salvation. How can you share the positive habits in your life today? How can you make a difference in the lives of those you love? How can you share Jesus? We all have gifts to share and we all have daily opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life. And we are all called to bear fruit for Jesus. Will you share the habits of your heart today? Will you give Jesus the required time each day to make your own habits in Him habitual? I promise you friends, once you trade your life in for the life He has for you; you won’t view your habits in Christ negatively and you won’t mind making two beds each morning either.

Verse to remember:  Hebrews 10: 24-27 ²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
 ²⁶ If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, ²⁷ but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.