Monday, March 28, 2011

Cover of the Rolling Stones

Last week, I fell victim to a virus so intense; I was convinced I had unknowingly licked the floor of the hospital numerous times. The symptoms of my virus only lasted 3 days but the aftermath remained throughout the week.  I had quite a week friends and fortunately for you, my extra time spent in bed refreshed my brain (and my beaten body) but unfortunately my extra time away from my computer left my brain jumbled up inside. God understands my jumbled brain best (Actually, God is the only one who understands my brain at all) so he found it appropriate to end my week with extra time in Him. Saturday night, I went to a concert and heard three awesome Christian artists but more importantly God spent Saturday night putting an end to the aftermath of my week. (The car ride home began a new aftermath)  God renewed my physical strength days before the concert but I still felt like a stranger walking around in my own body. My sleep schedule was still slightly off causing me to spend my mornings in a sleepy fog opposed to spending them jamming out to my IPOD. My evenings were filled with all of the responsibilities that I had put aside as I was desperately trying to nurse myself back to health with a cocktail of medicines and hours of sleep. And my days were spent wishing I was in my PJ’s eating ice cream and drinking hot tea. But Saturday night as I worshiped my King, I felt my joy return to my heart. And not the joy of finally being free from those bubbling bacteria that were happily enjoying my body; but the joy of knowing that who I am in Christ doesn’t change.  
I may have felt like a stranger in my own body but I wasn’t a stranger at all. I wasn’t a stranger to Christ because when He looks at me; he knows who I am. He knows that regardless of my outward circumstances and my physical drains; I will praise Him first, seek Him second, and then obey Him with all of the love in my heart. I may have bad days and I may have weeks where I physically, emotionally, and mentally feel like a completely different person but I never want to change who I am in Christ. I don’t want reorganize my life to fit my circumstances and I don’t want to paint a pretty picture for others to see. I live my life as if it were the feature picture in a magazine and the main reader was Jesus. I don’t spend my time worrying about the details, the finishing touches, or the decorations. I spend my time worrying about the room holding all of the beautiful contents. If my room is ridiculously ugly then no one will pay a single bit of attention to what’s inside. If I spend my life constantly changing who I am in Christ based on day to day situations then I am taking away from all of His meticulous attention to detail in my life. When Jesus picks up the magazine of my life; I want Him to  take delight in the fact that I spent my days waxing the floors of my heart, wiping away the dirt of my flesh, and polishing my hands and feet to reflect His image. I want Him to notice that every detail of my life and every decoration were hand-picked by Him. I want Him to show His other children my magazine spread and say, “She gave me the best room to display my works in.” We all represent rooms in Christ’s mansion and we are on display at all times, not only to Him but to others in our lives. Are you constantly rearranging your room to showcase your pride and fame? Or are you shoving sin and disobedience under rugs in hopes of hiding it from others? Don’t paint pictures of who you hope to be and plaster them all over the walls of your life. Find yourself in Christ and display that image every day. And when you do expect to be on the cover of His feature magazine and expect to be passed through the hands of many readers who will look beyond your decorations because the room that belongs to Christ is much more beautiful.
Last week, I suffered more physically than I had in a long time. (probably since the days of rice soup and ensure) But today as I was asked to eat doughnuts with my 79 year old patient because his family was convinced all he needed to thrive was my hug and smile; I knew that I hadn’t changed at all. I knew that in between my chills and headaches; I found time to keep my room beautiful, allowing Jesus to use me (my love for doughnuts) as part of His decoration plan.

Verse to remember: Isaiah 49:3-5
3 He said to me, “You are my servant,
   Israel, in whom I will display my splendor.”
4 But I said, “I have labored in vain;
   I have spent my strength for nothing at all.
Yet what is due me is in the LORD’s hand,
   and my reward is with my God.”
5 And now the LORD says:
   he who formed me in the womb to be his servant
to bring Jacob back to him
   and gather Israel to himself,
for I am   onored in the eyes of the LORD
   and my God has been my strength.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Road to Victory Begins Here

It‘s no secret that I am a college football junkie. I buy a new WVU T-shirt every year to wear on opening day and I begin reading scouting reports and season predictions in June. College football will always be number one in the part of my heart reserved specifically for sports but there is something about March madness that brings an extra bit of excitement to the sports corner of my heart. I love the buzzer beating shots. I love the passion and competitiveness that escalates as soon as the brackets are announced. I love watching games where both teams play their best games of the season. And I love watching young college athletes have breakout games. I am not alone in my secret fascination with March madness. On Thursday when the tournament began, college sports fans around the world prepared their selves for some of the best weeks in sports history. Many changed their daily routines in order to watch their favorite team play. Some obsessively checked scores on their cell phones and others exchanged hours of sleep for hours of flat screen TV watching. And thousands filled out the infamous bracket hoping that their choices would reign supreme when the national champion is declared at the end of March Madness. (The championship game is in April so it should technically be called March and April Madness) I did all of the above. I filled out not one but two brackets. I conveniently planned my lunch on Thursday during the first half of the Mountaineer game. I checked scores on my Iphone yesterday during work. (I also took extra time in rooms that had on ESPN) And tonight I stayed up to watch Pitt lose to Butler and destroy my bracket. (As a true mountaineer fan, I never truly cheer for Pitt and that is why I completed 2 brackets!) Thankfully, March madness only comes once a year because otherwise I may become a permanent fixture on my couch all year long…I am already a permanent fixture every Saturday during college football season.
College sports, especially WVU football, make my heart very happy (My entire heart not just the sports corner) and I consider my occasional drastic life adaptations additional benefits to my blessed life. And despite my excuses, adjustments, and my 12 hour days of watching football, there is only one thing worth adapting my life for. Yes, friends that thing is Jesus. Can you imagine how awesome it would be if everyone changed their daily routines in order to set aside more time for Jesus. Or if everyone would obsessively read their bibles to get highlights from their favorite scriptures. Or if everyone traded in hours of sleep for hours of prayer.  I am not the only one who has imagined these thoughts. God not only imagined these thoughts; He set His thoughts into motion. He created each of our hearts with a corner specifically fit for a King. And when you allow the excitement of Jesus to guide your days, you will understand not only His thoughts but His love. Our hearts are planned out exactly like an NCAA bracket. We can pick and choose what we put on each line but in the end, if our grand champ isn’t Jesus; we have been beaten at the buzzer by Satan. The only way to defeat Satan is to adjust our lives for Jesus. Don’t waste another second of your life filling your days with restless nights of sleep, obsessions over health issues and finances, and lifestyle changes that end in sin every time. Pick your champion now and make daily adjustments to make more time for Jesus. He is the only true Cinderella story. He is the only one who won’t fall apart when the world throws new defenses at Him. He is the only one who can escalate the passion and fervor inside of you. Will you change your bracket around to make Jesus your champion? Will you adjust your life for more of Jesus?  When you do the corners of your heart set aside for everything else in life will become smaller because the corner for Jesus will begin to take over.
One of my brackets took a major hit tonight when Butler University beat Pittsburgh in one of the craziest basketball games I have ever watched. And I am sure before the end of the tournament; my bracket will take another hit because anything is possible during March madness. I am also sure that before the end of March my life will endure hits. And when the madness comes; I will adjust my life so I can become closer to my champion…My champion who makes all things possible as long as I believe.

Verse to remember: Jeremiah 13:15-16 Hear and pay attention, do not be arrogant, for the LORD has spoken. 16 Give glory to the LORD your God before he brings the darkness, before your feet stumble on the darkening hills. You hope for light, but he will turn it to utter darkness and change it to deep gloom.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

My feet are Numb

Today at work three of the therapists who normally work with the team I am on for the next 6 weeks called off. So, that left one therapist and myself to see 58 patients in one day.  I have only been at the hospital for 7 days and I have been seeing a full case load each day but remained somewhat supervised. But today after my first evaluation, the therapist I was working with said, “Here is the list. We will meet back up at lunch and update each other. If you have questions, page me.” And like that she disappeared down to the 3rd floor gym. And I headed to a computer to plan my morning. After forming a patient list, I met up with an occupational therapist and began co-treating with her and seeing my previous patients. My day was going just as I had planned until I was asked to do an evaluation on a lady who had suffered a stroke 8 days ago. As a result of her stroke, she was unable to move her right arm and she had limited strength and movement in her right leg. I did a quick review of her chart (gave myself a quick pep talk)  and headed to her room. During my evaluation, I did many things including a sensation test to her right leg. She was able to feel me touch her right foot with my pen but she definitely lacked sensation in her right foot. I was confident that my patient had the ability to stand with assistance, so I instructed her properly and we stood up together. (Definitely a 2 man job but I didn’t have an extra set of hands.) As she was standing, she told me that she knew her right foot was there but she couldn’t feel it touching the ground. She was definitely putting most of her weight on her left foot and I was definitely supporting the rest of her weight with my noodle arms and thunder thighs.
As I was standing with my patient, she felt safe because she could feel my body supporting her even though she couldn’t feel her right foot. And she knew that no matter what; I was not going to let go. Letting go of a patient would go against everything I have learned in the past 3 years and it would go against every piece of safety engineering knowledge I still posses in my frazzled brain. And letting go of Jesus should go against everything we have learned as Christians but for some reason we still do it. When I can’t feel Jesus in my life, I don’t always assure myself that even though I can’t feel Him; He is still there. Instead, I let go of Jesus. I let go of His promises and I let go of his perfect plan for my life. I let go of my faith and my hope in Him. I let go of His truth that I hold within my heart. I let go of the very one who is supporting me when I can’t stand alone. I let go of the only one who can returning the feeling to the parts of my heart that have become numb. Jesus never leaves us friends. I know that we have all faced trials and situations where we were too broken to feel Jesus at work in our lives. And sometimes during those trials and situations we cry out to Jesus more than we ever have in our entire lives and still feel like He has let go. I promise you, Jesus didn’t let go. He is there among our hurt, our defeat, our tears, and our heartache. He is there with his nail pierced hands and scared torso bearing the weight of our burdens and pain. He is there holding onto our noodle arms and weak thunder thighs with a grip too hard to loosen because long after we have let go of Him; He remains prepared to hold on until the day we finally feel the physical embrace of the one who refused to let go.
It takes me awhile to recover when I sleep on my arm wrong and wake up with a tingling, burning arm. So I am positive, I wouldn’t tolerate a temporary or permanent loss of sensation without a great deal of difficulty. Imagine standing and only being able to feel one of your feet. (I claim the blood of Jesus over all of you and pray that you never experience this) Now, imagine someone making you stand on the leg you lacked sensation in at the top of the Empire State Building. Unless, you were desperate to meet Jesus, you wouldn’t do it. So why would you let go of God when you can’t feel Him? Unless you want to be standing alone on top of one of the tallest buildings in the world; I would hold on. Not only am I holding on; I am confident that no matter what; He won’t let go.

Verse to remember:  Hebrews 13:5 “Because God has said, “NEVER will I leave you: NEVER will I forsake you.”

Monday, March 14, 2011

Kicking and Screaming

I spent the past week preparing for my sister’s baby shower. I began this process mid January but last week was when all of my planning turned into preparation. I wanted my little gum nugget’s (and my sister’s) special day to be perfect so I welcomed every change in plans from my sister (although there weren’t many), every request from Houston (or Weston), every errand, and every hour spent awake instead of sleeping.  (Counting M&M’s and Gobstoppers past midnight isn’t recommended.) And although I may have procrastinated a few things; Saturday was awesome! My sister and brother-in-law loved every second of their day honoring their son’s soon to be arrival into the world. And despite my lack of sleep and  the fact that I had to put deviled eggs on a serving platter; I enjoyed every second of their special day as well. After my sister’s shower, we went to a surprise party she threw for my brother-in-law. (He says the dinner seemed too planned but trust me he was surprised) After eating my fourth dessert in one day, (I will be using my dad’s free month membership at the gym starting this week) I was convinced my day couldn’t get any better. And I was wrong friends. After my sister also ate her fourth dessert of the day (she is supposed to be eating for 2), she had me feel her belly because my little Gum nugget was moving around. As I was touching her belly, my little nephew kicked his legs and I felt his little foot on my hand. I’m absolutely in love with that little boy and I wanted to deliver him in the restaurant so I could kiss his cheeks off!
Other members of my family tried to feel my little Gum nugget kicking but they were all unsuccessful. He knows his Aunt Jay’s voice. (He has heard it praying since the day he was conceived) My little nephew was probably kicking because he was full (according to his momma that is when he does the most kicking) but I like to think that he was excited for his aunt to feel him moving around. Unlike babies in utero, I don’t kick when I am content and satisfied but I do kick and scream when I am completely dissatisfied and at my breaking point. When I feel like God has removed Himself from my life and I can’t possibly hear His voice or feel His touch; I begin to squirm in my own skin and I begin to throw punches and kick my legs around like a water bug stuck on its back. And I continue to fight, whether out of desperation or obedience, until God feels my feet against His hands. God knows my feet (one day I will ask Him why he gave me different big toes on each foot) and He knows that motives behind each kick. He knows that I can’t possibly be content until I feel His touch. And friends as soon as I feel Him, my kicks get weaker and weaker. Other people in my life may try to weaken my kicks but they don’t possess the peace and comfort that come from God. And trust me, I have tried to weaken my kicks with everything and anything but God. This was a terrible idea because not only did my kicking continue but I added 30 pound cuff weights to each leg as I kicked. Anyone who has seen me in the gym knows me plus 30 pound cuff weights equals disaster (and Bengay) every time. When I wait for God to calm my kicking, my legs don’t become weaker but my kicking does. My kicking gets weaker because when God created me, He knew I would be flailing around like a wounded water bug and He knew that after I got a good kick out of my system; I would search for Him. When you have your own kicking and screaming fest, do you wait for God to show you His perfect peace? Or do you take your eyes off of Him, allowing your legs to become too weak to sustain you? He knows the voice of His children; He has heard it praying to Him since the day each one of us asked for salvation.  

Hudson Ross Gum loves doughnuts and ranch dressing (and his Aunt Jay) and when his little belly gets full on his favorite foods; he rolls around and kicks in pure contentment. Jessica Brooke Garcia loves Jesus (and doughnuts and ranch dressing) and when my belly gets full of Him; I will roll around in contentment opposed to kick and scream in defeat and frustration.

Verse to remember:  Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
1 Corinthians 8:3 But the man who loves God is known by God.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Last Chance Workout

I began my new rotation this week and my patient case load isn’t exactly what I had hoped for from a clinical standpoint but my patients are more than I expected from a entertaining standpoint. In four days, I have heard some very interesting and hilarious stories/comments. Yesterday, I met a woman who told me she was Mary Magdalene (be jealous that I met Mary at WVUH and you didn’t) and I also met an 86 year old man that told me he lived with his parents because they needed help around the house. If my 86 year old son is ever taking care of me; please help me. If these individuals had cognitive issues; I would never make fun of them. Fortunately, their comments were due to high dosages of pain medicine and confusion as a result of being awoken abruptly. Today, my streak of priceless conversations continued when I went to work with a lady who had recently fallen and was awaiting surgery for her broken arm. When I walked in and stated that I was with physical therapy she said, “Are you working with me because I am fat and I am sore? This is going to be just like The Biggest Loser.” Caught completely off guard, I responded with, “I like ice cream too much to be a trainer. I just want to go for a walk and look at your arm.” After we walked (she kept me laughing the entire time), I safely returned her to her room unharmed. As I was leaving she asked me for a snack, assuring me that she also liked ice cream.
I haven’t found the secret stash of ice cream on the 9th floor of the hospital but I was able to get my patient out of bed for the first time in a few days and removed her hair band that had been bothering her for days. (She was convinced that the doctors in the ER put knot balls in her head.) My workout wouldn’t stand a chance on the biggest loser (and I wouldn’t stand a chance with Jullian Michaels) but this patient reminded me that not all shows on TV are a waste of time. I used to watch the Biggest Loser and my favorite part was always the last chance workout. It was my favorite part, because it allowed the viewers to see the heart and determination of each contestant. Satan reminds me of the contestants doing their last chance workouts. He knows that this is his absolute last chance to win souls. He knows that God is so very close to coming back for His people so Satan is busting out all of his tricks, schemes, and lies. He is working harder than ever before to ruin the lives of God’s children. His hurt is greater. His destruction more unbearable. His lies more heart wrenching. His attempts more often. And his ploys harder to recognize. He won’t stop. He has the determination and the corrupt heart to fight until the very end. Satan wants to beat us up and attack us until we stop believing in God. He wants us to continue carrying him on our backs so he has free reign in our lives. He doesn’t have any place in our lives friends and if you truly want to win your last chance workout, take off the saddle and demand that Satan flee from your life. Demand that he spend his time beating up on someone else because you like God (or ice cream) too much to spend your time exercising your faith.
The contestants on The Biggest Loser are determined to change their entire lifestyle in order see positive results and put their selves through extreme workouts in order to be successful in their individual journeys. Satan is determined to change our entire lifestyle and put himself through extreme workouts in order to get the results he wants. But despite all of his efforts, he will still be declared the Biggest Loser in the end. And I will be eating ice cream with Jesus.
Verse to remember:  2 Timothy 3:1-5 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Sword and the Stone

Tonight, I was having an in depth conversation with a friend regarding Disney World and how it truly is the most wonderful place on Earth. We both agreed that adulthood didn’t make a difference in the fun within each theme park. If you haven’t been to Disney World as an adult you can take comfort in getting advice from a grown woman who refused to get on a Dumbo unless he had on a pink hat.  I also raced 5 year olds to get a pink tea cup; my sisters still make fun of me for that. Our conversation took us from the hidden Mickey’s to the best rides and of course the best foods. (The Tower of Terror makes me pee my pants and the masterminds of Disney have prevented me from finding half of the hidden Mickey’s) After our conversation, I decided that I will always be a child trapped in an adults body and I must go to Disney World very soon. Because I am not only a 26 year old child but a very random human being; our conversation made its way to high school English classes. My walrus/saber tooth tiger wanna be friend asked me if I had to make a shield during my days at NMHS. (I spent too much time making excuses to skip class instead of making class projects) She went on to tell me that during her senior year, she had to make a shield that described her. And on her shield, she wrote, “My foundations and beliefs in life came from the Bible and the Lion King.”
The first time I watched the Lion King, I cried. The fiftieth time I watch the Lion King, I cried. I wouldn’t ground my beliefs in a movie that makes my heart hurt but I do ground my beliefs in the Bible.  And when I proudly display my shield of faith, You will see the words, “Jesus, you are all I need” scribbled on the bottom in my terrible handwriting. My foundation is Jesus but in order to have the strength to proudly display my shield; I must read the Bible every day. God puts His word above His own name friends! And when Satan attacks us the only way we can fight back is to have the word of God in our hearts. Satan will ALWAYS be a liar and our shield will protect us from him but we can’t stop at our faith in God. Our faith will surely sustain us and cause Satan much distress but he deserves more than distress; he deserves to be reminded of his defeat. And each time we sharpen our swords by reading our bible; we remind him that we are equipped for battle. And more importantly, we remind him that God has already claimed victory over our lives. We remind him that he doesn’t stand a chance against us when we are filled with the word of God, the Spirit of God, and the protection of God. When was the last time you sharpened your sword? When was the last time Satan felt you stab him with the words of God?  I don’t know about you friends, but I take delight in knowing that each time Satan attacks me; He feels the piercing of my sword straight to his heart. Satan definitely wears out my armor at times but all the chinks in my armor don’t remind me of defeat; they remind me of his stab wounds.
 Walt Disney has produced over 100 movies depicting his creativity and pure brilliance and I couldn’t pick a single one that comes close to describing my life.  But because of Walt Disney; I can remain a young girl every time I watch one of my favorite childhood (or adulthood) movies or fly high in a Dumbo with a pink hat. God has produced over 1000 verses depicting his love and pure brilliance and I can’t come close to picking just one that describes who I am in Christ. But because of God; I will remain prepared for battle every time Satan attacks me. And one day I will be flying high in my new set of wings with a pink hat.
Verse to remember: Ephesians 6: 14-17 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, the breastplate of rightousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the rediness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition, to all of this take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flamming arrows pf the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Weak and Wobbly Footsteps

For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to start exercising this week. Maybe it was because my grandma told me I shouldn’t eat so much ice cream because it would make me fat (I think it was here subtle way of telling me I had gained weight) or maybe it was the thought of my thighs in a bathing suit in a few months. Either way, I decided to take advantage of the warm weather and more alone time with God and began walking this week. Today as I was taking my fourth walk of the week, (Go ahead, be impressed) I saw a baby foal eating hay with his mamma. I instantly stopped and fell in love with him. He was so curious to the world to which he had just been exposed only months earlier and he was enjoying a beautiful day much more than I was. After a few moments at the feeder, he instinctively began to follow his mother. As he started walking his little skinny legs were wobbly and his steps slow but he was determined to stay right by his mother’s side. He was so fascinating (and funny), I wanted to stay and watch him all day but I still had 2 miles of walking to do.  If I was guaranteed to see my new favorite four legged friend everyday during my walks; I may actually stick to my exercise regimen.
I am an animal lover at heart and I especially love newborn animal totlets. There is just something magical and hilarious about watching them figure life out during their first few months of life. (And they are so cute and cuddly!) And today as I watched this little creature explore an entire field and adjust to his new legs; I saw something else. I saw him obediently following his mother.  When I should have been enjoying a cool breeze or complaining about my sweatpants falling down as I walked; I thought about my obedience to my father. I thought about the many times my legs become weak and wobbly and I struggle to take another step. I thought about the times I have been faced with uncertainty and I am too scared to move forward. I thought about the areas of my life that are unfamiliar. And then I saw God. I saw God before me during each and every moment of my life. He was leading the way and saying to me the entire time, “Just stay close to me and I will lead you.” When I trust God and stay obedient to my father; I find my way. I find my way because when He says go; I go. When He says stay; I stay. When He says love; I love. When He says serve; I serve. When He says give; I give, When He says; follow; I follow. I choose to be obedient to God and follow Him because I know that without Him; I am a little foal constantly trying to become accustomed to a scary world. God wants all of us to be obedient to Him so He can guide us through life. So He can lead us through the most trying, difficult, and scary times of our lives. So He can graze in fields of gold and watch us run wild in a world He created just for us free of shame, fear, and burdens. God wants to take you deeper and further in your relationship with Him. Will you take the first step by obediently following your father? Will you stay close to Him and allow Him to lead you? To God, there is something magical about watching you take your first steps with Him, allowing Him to figure out your life for you.
I know that at some point during my exercise spurt, my legs will become sore and wobbly due to the increased demand on my muscles. I will try to convince myself that the best solution will be to quit walking every day. But I know that the cure to muscle soreness is stretching and more walking. (someone remind me of that when I am complaining later) I also know that at some point during my walk with God my legs will become weak and wobbly due to Satan’s increased demands on my life and I will try to convince myself that the best solution is to quit following Him. But I know that the only cure for this young foal is more of Him. (someone remind me of that when I start to believe Satan’s lies later.)
Verse to remember:  Deuteronomy 13:4 It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Game of Things

This past week, I was introduced to a new board game. Usually when I play a board game, or any game for that matter; I play to win. I don’t always possess the most talent or the best answers but I do formulate a game plan (no pun intended).  Even though there is strategy or just plain luck in my game plan my main focus is creating as much laughter as I possibly can. And fortunately for everyone else, the game of Things ignites a part of my brain that yields tons of laughter. The game is exactly as it sounds. You are given a statement and you can fill or answer it with anything your little brain can come up with. The strategy is to keep others from guessing which response belongs to you.  For example, one card read: Things you should never wait until tomorrow to do. Some may have answered with an emotional response by saying tell loved ones how much you love them. Some may have answered with an inspirational response by saying anything you could do today. And I would answer with: change dirty underwear.  Yes friends, that was an actual response. My strategy for this game was nonexistent because everyone else playing could guess my answers 99 times out of 100. (who else would put walk a tightrope for things you shouldn’t do naked?)  
My personality and my wit separate me from others in board games and in everyday situations. (If I weren’t so uniquely made, my readings wouldn’t be nearly as fun!) And when I come up with crazy sayings or catchy one hit quotables; my friends remember them long after the laughter fades. But what else do they remember about me? And more importantly, what does God remember about me? If there was a card that read: things that remind you of Jay Garcia what would His response be?  As He read His answers, would I laugh at His wit and be humbled by His kind words? Would I be overjoyed with my creator’s responses? Or would His depictions of me bring tears to my eyes?  One day I will meet God and I will be judged for my entire life. I will stand in front of Him as He reads card after card of His responses.  I will see my life through the eyes of my creator. And so will you friends.  When He is asked, “Things that represent Jay Garcia.”; I want Him to say more than a fast driver who drinks too much coffee, hates to exercise but loves to sweat, is obsessed with sunglasses, sweatpants, and laundry detergent, and has eaten more ice cream that a small village in China combined. I want His responses to make Him proud. I want His responses to give Him the glory and the praise. I want His responses to bring a smile to His face. I want His responses to reflect Him in every way possible. I want His responses to let everyone else know that despite my vulnerabilities, my struggles, my fears, and my weaknesses; I lived for God. I want Him to say, “Jay Garcia: a child after my own heart.” And because I want Him to say that; I will live everyday loving Him with all of my heart, with all of my mind, with all of my soul, and all of my strength. Will you? Or will you live your life without giving God every part of who you are? Choose Him friends because one day you will stand before Him and He will give you His responses.
Sometimes, I hear God’s responses to who I am…sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I am overjoyed. But every time I am faithfully committed to loving Him with every ounce of my being so He can use me until the day I finally stand before Him and get my much anticipated responses.  I am fully prepared to hear him say, “Jay Garcia, my only child who thought it was a good idea to go sled riding, on a cafeteria tray, down a hill that ended feet from the Ohio River.”  
Verse to remember: Romans 14:9-11 9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10 You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written: “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Warm and Cozy on the Inside

Every Monday, my favorite radio station has a segment called MAD Mondays. MAD stands for make a difference and although I totally agree with their philosophy that we should all try to make a difference ( Most days I force myself out of bed  just to make a difference); I don’t think we should limit ourselves to Mondays only. And today when I listened to the feature story for this Monday, I was blown away at a young child’s desire to make a difference. The boy who quickly captured my heart and caused me to cry after I had already applied my make-up was a young boy from Indianapolis battling a rare form of cancer. (Have I ever mentioned that I HATE cancer?) Currently he is in a hospital away from his hometown and he misses his siblings and his friends very much. Despite his own battle with cancer and his own emotional rollercoaster; he decided that he wanted to do something for the other children at the hospital in case they too were missing family and friends. So this six year old boy (yes, I said six your old), set out to collect 1,000 pillow pals for children in hospitals all over Indiana to ensure that they had something warm and comforting to hold onto while they were enduring their own hospital stays.
I know that we are instructed to have faith like a child and I can honestly say that I do but today I wished I had this specific child’s heart of love and compassion. I didn’t carry his heart around in my chest today but I did carry MAD story inside my heart all day. And tonight when my heart was attacked with a pain so real it became my own; I pulled this story out of my heart and allowed it to be the strength that kept my heart beating and my lungs breathing. One of my friends has renal cell carcinoma and she is 24 years old. (Yes, I said 24 years old) And tonight she was admitted to the hospital and her doctors said she needs a miracle for survival because her body is shutting down. As I sat in a hospital that reminds me solely of cancer; I watched as her family desperately needed something warm and comforting to hold onto. I didn’t have a single pillow pet but I did have Jesus. I had Jesus coming out of every single pore in my body. And when I couldn’t find a single word that would ease their pain, calm their fears, or restore their hope; I could find comfort in Jesus. I could find comfort in His word that He puts above His own name. I could find comfort in His presence that was holding us all together as we wanted so desperately to fall apart. I could find comfort in His love that joined complete strangers in a waiting room praying for the same result. I found His comfort in the healing power of His blood that I knew was washing over my friend as she slept. And I felt comfort in my constant prayers I knew were going straight to my father’s ears. I couldn’t offer advice to a grown man dealing with a whirlwind of emotions that were stirring inside of him as he watched his girlfriend of almost a decade go in and out of consciousness. I couldn’t mend the brokenness of two parents trying desperately to protect their baby girl. And I couldn’t aid in the helplessness of knowing her brother who is serving in the United States Military won’t be able to fly home until tomorrow.  My lack of physical abilities and my severe emotional pain allowed me to rely solely on Jesus and in doing so I felt the warmth of His hand around my shoulders as I cried and I felt the warmth of his body as I collapsed into His lap.  Because of a little boy battling cancer himself; I was able to make a difference today because I allowed Jesus to be my warmth and my comfort. I allowed Him to take over a situation and use me to share His warmth and comfort with a family who will not endure their current trial without Him.
When we are faced with the most trying times in our lives; we long for something familiar that will ultimately relieve our pain and fears and make us feel warm and cozy on the inside. Is Jesus your pillow pet? Is He the one in whom you find your comfort? I promise you friends, when you lay your head upon Him; your body can’t possibly feel any more warm or cozy on the inside.

Verse to remember:  Psalm 23: 1-5
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
 2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
   He leads me beside the still waters.
 3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness
         For His name’s sake.
 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
         I will fear no evil;
         For You are with me;
         Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me