A sacrifice worth making

Friday morning I woke up feeling somewhat crummy. Not virus crummy but weak and puny crummy. When I was only able to finish one cup of coffee, I knew my body wasn’t in its normal morning mode. After a few hours of feeling weak and lightheaded, I went through my normal self diagnosis’s and tried to correct everything I thought could be wrong. After my unsuccessful attempts and a few near passing out moments, and a call to my favorite physician, I decided go to the doctor.  My doctor ran my through all of the tests I knew she would (sometimes being a PT student has its benefits) and thankfully they were all normal. After talking for awhile, she said, “I want to do one more thing.”  She wanted to do an orthostatic blood pressure screen. My symptoms could be a result of orthostatic hypotension (a drop in blood pressure with position change) but I wasn’t the typical candidate for this pathology. We were both surprised when my blood pressure did in fact drop with position change. Not an alarming diagnosis but still enough to make me feel crummy for a few days. My doctor advised me to drink TONS of liquids (not coffee either…bummer), increase my salt intake (I am regretting my decision to eat Chinese food for lunch), and rest.  When I got out of class yesterday, I wanted to be pampered. When I am sick, I like to be babied and have a “sick bed”. You all know what the sick bed is; it’s when someone who loves you gets your favorite blanket, the softest pillow, and your favorite sick foods (for me it’s ginger ale or Gatorade with a pink straw and popsicles) and sets you up on the couch so you can be a princess while you’re sick.  I thought about who would be the lucky candidate for my nurse this time and couldn’t help but think about my papa. The last time I was really sick (I had a strand of swine flu) my papa called and was so concerned that I was alone; he was going to drive to my apartment to take care of me. At the time, my papa was in the last stages of cancer battling a disease way more intense and much more deserving of a sick bed than my flu. But nonetheless he was determined to get to Morgantown so I wasn’t alone. My papa wasn’t focused on himself or his physical limitation and he wasn’t considering that he could catch my flu and become miserably sick; he was focused on me.

This was just one of the many times that my pap reminded me that sacrifice isn’t sacrifice at all when you invest in the life of someone else.  I have applied this truth over and over again in my life but tonight I asked myself how many times do I sacrifice for God? Am I willing to look past myself and look beyond personal setbacks in order to invest in God? How many times have we sacrificed for friends, families, charities, and those less fortunate but stopped sacrificing when it came to God? I don’t know about you friends but I never want to put my time, my investments, my gains, my energy, or myself above God.  In order to sacrifice for God, we must put our plans, our schedules, and our gains last and God’s first.  It’s impossible to sacrifice ourselves without investing in God each and every day. If you aren’t taking time to read the bible, pray, and fast for God then you aren’t taking time to build an intimate relationship with him. Without a relationship with God, you can’t possibly know how you can invest further and sacrifice more for Him.  God is the only one worthy of our sacrifices. Today sacrifice the time you spend watching TV to thank Him for all that He has done in your life, sacrifice the money you waste on an expensive dessert or an afternoon latte to invest in your(God’s) church, sacrifice the energy you spend gossiping about people in your town to pray for your family and friends, and spend the extra 20 minutes you spend hitting the snooze button reading your bible. More importantly, sacrifice your plans for yourself or your family to God’s plans and sacrifice your own gains and rewards for God’s gains and rewards. I sacrifice for other people because it makes my heart happy and I sacrifice for God because I love Him so so much. I may not have had my desired “sick bed” this weekend (I did drink Gatorade and lay on my couch) but when I get to heaven, my Lord (and my pap) will have the greatest “sick bed” I’ve ever laid in and I can rest forever and my sacrifices for God will have been worth every effort.

Verse to remember:  Hosea 10:12 Sow for yourselves righteousness, reep the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord until he comes and showers righteousness on you.

Voyage of the faithful

If it hasn’t been apparent by now; I have a very difficult time paying attention in class when I am either tired, out of coffee, or disinterested in the subject matter. Today after a break in my class, my teacher returned and began explaining the differences between autosomal dominant and sex-linked genetic disorders. I should have been taking diligent notes since I could only remember half of what she was saying (I have been tested once in genetics since beginning PT school but who really likes Mendelian genetics) but instead I found myself exploring the Addison Road homepage. This led me to the blog of the lead singer which, I may add, was way more interesting than chromosome mutations. Through my exploration of her blog; I came across her most recent entry ironically talking about her being an explorer. As I read her blog (and became more removed from my morning lecture), I realized that I am not much of an explorer at all. I like adventures and road trips but the extent of my exploring is limited to the discoveries of treasured keepsakes and not so treasured items in my grandma’s basement.  I don’t ever remember exploring the woods around my house as a child or even going on treasure hunts. I preferred mud pies, bike riding, building blocks, and tormenting my sisters. I still don’t have an interest in outer space, the ocean, caves, or historical landmarks. In fact, I’m not fully convinced we ever actually walked on the moon and I only go waist deep in the ocean because I know what creatures live there and have no desire to go searching for them. I do however appreciate the beauty of the seasons, the delicate touch of a snow flake, the attraction of a breathtaking sunset, the peacefulness of ocean waves, the warmth of sand between my toes, the laughter accompanying a kite soaring in the sky, and the smell of rain. So in some regard, I consider myself an explorer of Earth and all of the mysteries contained within its spherical boundaries.

If Christopher Columbus was looking for someone to tag along with him on his pursuit to discover America, I wouldn’t be a good candidate but when God is looking for someone to explore Him; I am the best candidate. We are all good candidates. When we explore God, He manifests himself in us and we become a temple for His word and the Holy Spirit. When we are in Christ, we are never fragile and the only way to ensure our strength is to explore God every day. The bible will lead us to more discoveries than any map and the treasures inside the pages go far beyond any treasure found in the woods, the ocean, or an ancient tomb.  With each verse, each story, and each truth found in the bible comes a new discovery not only in Christ but within ourselves. Have you stopped exploring God? Or do you feel as if you have discovered all there is within the pages of your worn bible? God’s work in us is never finished and He will never stop revealing to us the depths of His treasures. If we stop exploring God then we are denying ourselves the beauty, the pleasure, and the overall awe factor that comes along with each new discovery in Christ. When we are obedient and seek God first and welcome every opportunity to explore Him our lives turn from the mess we’ve made it into God’s greatest creation.  We don’t need maps, telescopes, and back packs full of necessities in order to be an explorer of God. All we need is faith, obedience, and a desire to embrace each new discovery. I don’t remember any being part of any scavenger hunts but I do know that as I (God) reveal another clue to my life; I explore Him more and more to witness and experience the true beauty and rewards of my voyage.

Verse to remember: Hebrews 4: 12-13 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Help is only a phone call away

Last night I was feeding my cat and eating the free vegetables (free at the price of $22,000 a year) I brought home from a reception at the HSC. As we were enjoying our late evening snack, I heard a plastic bag rattling and then I heard the lid of my cat’s liter box hitting my basement door. If my daughter wasn’t inhaling her food in front of my eyes, I would have ignored the sounds and assumed it was her. As I got up to investigate, my cat followed me. She wedged herself in the small space between her liter box and the basement door and was trying with all her might to fit her head in the one inch gap under the door. I now knew that there was something very interesting to her and probably something very disturbing to me behind that door. After locking her in my bedroom, I took my flashlight and shinned it under my basement door and bent down to take a look for myself. Within seconds, I saw two glowing eyes staring back at me. My first thought was to call my dad and tell him to come to my apartment immediately and remove whatever creature was taking up residence in my basement.  Somewhere between dialing his number and barricading my basement door; I remembered that there was a window to my basement. Before I made my dad drive one hour on a cold, damp, rainy night to be my exterminator; I would look inside to properly prepare him. I went outside fully expecting to see a raccoon, possum, or something worse hanging out in my basement. When I put my flashlight up to the window, I saw my neighbor’s cat sitting innocently on my basement steps.

My dad wasn’t the victim to my panic stricken phone call last night but I assure you he has been before. I once locked myself in my basement and called him at 12:30 at night to help me. He didn’t ask me why I thought it was a good idea to do laundry so late at night but instead, half asleep, he began giving me advice on how to pick my lock. After 10-15 minutes of unsuccessfully freeing myself, my dad said, “let me get my crowbar and then I’ll be up.” Another night, my power was out but everyone else on my street had power. I had been without power all day and called the electric company to see what was going on. They kindly told me nothing was wrong; I should have power. I didn’t kindly remind the man on the other end of the phone that I was positive I was sitting in a dark house and that as he was rambling, the food in my refrigerator was spoiling; I simply hung up and called my dad. Of course he would solve the problem, he works at Allegheny Power. Again after midnight, I called my dad and he sent me outside to my electric box asking me a zillion questions. After numerous “I don’t know responses” from me, my dad said, “let me call Allegheny and then I’ll be up.” When my dad’s phone rings past midnight, he knows I am smack in the middle of a dilemma but he doesn’t ignore me; he (usually) answers and welcomes my situation.

I may call my dad at late hours of the night occasionally but my phone calls to him are minimal compared to the phone calls I make to heaven. Every day, I am calling out to God with a question, a dilemma, a need, or in pure desperation. But every day, I also make a call to God just to tell him how much I love Him, how thankful I am for Him, and how awesome I think He is. There are no limits to the length of my conversations, the time of day I call, or how many times I call. And during every conversation, my heavenly father listens and gives advice(through the bible and the Holy Spirit) and when He is convinced that his presence is needed; He shows up.  Isn’t it amazing to know that God is always a phone call away? He doesn’t care what’s on our hearts or what dilemma we find ourselves in; He just wants us to call out to Him and curl up on His lap as He makes everything better.  If your prayer life was compared to a cell phone plan, would you need unlimited minutes or would the bare minimal plan be enough?  I know that at times, God says, “It’s Jay Garcia again. This is the 23379 time today.” But every time He is there friends. And if you make the call heavenward whenever you need your Father, He will be right there for you as well. Don’t exhaust all of your options first and make God your last call. Call Him when you are in need, call Him when you need a friend, and call Him and thank Him for all that He is.  When I call my dad late at night to come to my rescue; I may get his answering machine but I know as soon as he walks downstairs to the phone, he’ll call back with my answer. When I call my heavenly father and leave a message, I know He’ll call back as my answer.

Verse to remember:  Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

Life is a highway

She is finally home! My little Bitsy Ruba (my cat) has been away since June because I was gone for a summer rotation and because I didn’t want my dad to have the responsibility of my cat and my grandmother’s cat at the same time. This weekend I drove to Columbus to get her from her home away from home.  When I arrived on Friday she ran up to me and smelled my face and licked my toes.  A strange greeting, I will admit, but nonetheless that’s my little girl’s normal routine when she sees me. Despite not seeing her for months she remembered her mamma. And her mamma was just as excited to see her. I did the normal baby talking, cuddling, and scratching under her chin (her favorite spot) for almost 30 minutes.  I had to remind myself of that love and excitement as I was driving home with my beloved “daughter” in the passenger seat next to me.  Bitsy Ruba is not a fan of the car. She gets somewhat car sick and hates her cat carrier so she meows as loud as she can (usually for half of the trip) until her lungs are exhausted and she collapses into a sleeping stupor. Despite my efforts to turn up the radio to drown her out and talk to her in my sweetest most loving momma voice; she continued for almost an hour. During my radio surfing for a station, the song life is a highway by Rascal Flatts came blaring out of my speakers.  I love Rascal Flats and found a much needed escape from the meowing by jamming out to this song,

When the lyrics ended, I waited for the next song and started thinking about the truth in the statement: life is a highway. My life consists of many valleys, twists and turns, mountaintops and wrong turns but despite my scenery I am still allowing God to come along for the ride. By choosing to keep God in my heart always; I am allowing Him to provide direction, clarity, and purpose to my journey.  During any long trip with a worthy final destination; we travel on the necessary terrain to get to our intended destiny. But do we travel through the necessary terrain in order to get to our final destiny in Christ? When we have led ourselves down a dead end or are stuck in a valley for longer than we want; do we continue traveling with God or do we kick out our passenger? You may not kick God out of your life but do you start questioning your life’s atlas and the direction He is leading you? Or do you ignore your GPS and come up with your own short cuts convinced your way is better than His way? None of us like to be lost or spend time in life’s valleys but sometimes that’s exactly where God wants us to be. We can’t bear fruit when we are on the mountain tops and we can’t allow God to work in our lives if we are stuck living in only the high points of our lives. When we travel in our cars we are inevitably going to encounter the rude driver who is riding our bumper even though we are going 10mph over the speed limit (well, maybe I am the only one who consistently drives 10 mph over the speed limit) and every once in awhile, despite advancements in technology, we are still going to get lost and take wrong roads but that isn’t going to stop us from driving. So why would we allow the disruptions of our lives stop us from traveling on the road that God has prepared for us. The best part about traveling on God’s highway Is that we are never alone and no matter how far off the beaten path we take ourselves; God is right there to lead us back in the right direction.  When you feel like life has you traveling on an unknown highway filled with pot holes and valleys with a continuously meowing cat, squeaky breaks, and 2 radio stations to choose from remember that you are traveling on God’s highway of holiness and your final destination is worthy enough to endure whatever terrain is before you.

Verse to remember: Isaiah 35: 8-10 And a highway will be there; it will be called the way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that way; wicked fools will not go about on it. 9 No lion will be there, nor will any ferocious beast get up on it. They will not be found there. But only the redeemed will walk there, 10 and the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and Joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

A trail of crumbs

It’s no secret that I am a giant wimp when it comes to insects, spiders, caterpillars, salamanders, and any other crawling slimy creature.  With the exception of spiders, I am not scared of them I just get creeped out by them. And I especially don’t like to be close to them. Today, I pulled out my mail from my mailbox and if getting three bills and junk mail wasn’t bad enough, there were 4 stink bugs lined up side by side on the back of the envelop closest to my hand. Already having to go to the bathroom (Yes, I have admitted to my caffeine addiction) I was in a hurry to get into my apartment. Just as I was opening the door, I felt one of those little buggers move on my hand. I dropped my mail instantly and began flipping them off of my mail one by one with my keychain. (If you thought I was touching one of those devils you were wrong!) A few moments later, I was moving the one plant that I have managed not to let die back to my desk (I sometimes leave it in the window to get extra sun mostly because one side is about 6 inches higher than the other) and saw another stink bug in my kitchen sink. Unreal, two encounters with stink bugs within 5 minutes. And if this isn’t bad enough for someone who could live forever without insects I saw another one in my house on the ceiling in my kitchen. The worst part about these dreaded stink bugs is that if you kill them they smell! After playing exterminator for almost an hour, I read on the trusted Internet that stink bugs leave an odor that lasts for months and attracts their stink bug friends to the place they leave their scent. When a family of stink bugs moves in, this chick moves out! Because of theses stink bugs I will have dreams tonight about some invasion of flying neon bugs that have superpowers.

I may get worked up over insects and insect like creatures and cringe at the thought of seeing or, worst case scenario, being touched by one but I know they are a necessary part of life on Earth. In almost every way, I am different from a stink bug (it would be cool to have the ability to fly) but like them I want to leave a scent behind for my friends. If I gave up showering for a week; I know my friends would notice my pleasant smell but do they notice the scent of Christ that I leave behind? If they don’t notice it’s either because I have failed at leaving it or my friends have failed to sense it.  If I have failed to leave the scent of Christ behind then I am not fulfilling my purpose on this Earth and if my friends fail to sense Christ then I must return over and over again to overpower them with the fragrance of Christ. Do you leave behind a smell? Is it a pleasant aroma that attracts others or is it a terrible stench that repels everyone you come in contact with? From my experience today, I can assure you that stink bugs aren’t easily discouraged and don’t fear the presence of humans. We need to be like stink bugs and be determined opposed to discouraged and we most definitely can’t fear this world. We must leave behind sweet aromas and overpower the stench pouring out from Satan. When we leave behind our scent, the presence of God overpowers the attempts from the devil and we attract others to God’s family.  My physical scent may consist of Dove soap, Pink body spray, and lavender fabric softener but long after those fragrances fade away my spiritual scent will remain. I pray every day that all of my friends are bottling up the fragrance of Christ that I leave behind and using the sweet smell to enrich their lives and attract others.

Verse to remember:  Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.

Join my cause

I know that I have already entertained or perhaps bored you once today but sometimes a combination of caffeine and the Holy Spirit send my brain into overload. And since I don’t want to miss an opportunity to share with you what’s inside my brain and more importantly inside my heart; I am going for round two today.  At some point this afternoon, I sent out a text message to all of my closest friends asking for prayer for a member of my family who is staring cancer right in the face. I completely dislike sending group texts because I feel that they are so impersonal but I wanted as many prayers as possible. Within minutes, I received many responses from people agreeing to pray for my family. I was grateful and overwhelmed by the timely responses and genuine support I had received.  More than the kind words, I was drawn to the fact that over half of my responses included the words “I am in”.  My friends were referring to my invite via text to join my prayer bandwagon and claim victory over cancer not only for my loved one but for everyone affected by the disease I have grown to hate.  Thanks to technology, I was able to communicate with my closest friends of all time and more importantly I was able to recruit individuals to jump on my bandwagon of prayer.

Tonight at my bible study we were sharing with each other our prayer requests. (Of course I took advantage of an opportunity to recruit more people to my “Death to Cancer” wagon) When it was my turn, I said, “I have a prayer/faith request.” I explained that I needed prayer but not just any prayer. I wanted prayers of complete healing and complete victory for my loved ones life.  After a moment of awkward silence (I only know 1 person in my bible study and my knowledge of the other women is limited to our weekly conversations), a long time survivor of breast cancer said, “I had a mammogram this week and I have a suspicious mass.”  She needed a reaffirmation that she has complete victory in Christ and that cancer is simply just a word to her.  Through my prayer request I may have recruited more people to my bandwagon but because of my faith in God, I recruited a woman faced with an unknown mass back to the joy of victory in Christ.  It’s easy to recruit others for a personal gain or for a good cause but how many times do we stand up for the only man worth fighting for? Are you living out your faith in your own life? Are you courageous enough to share your faith with others? Or are you taking pride in recruiting others for earthly gains? If we don’t take a stand for God’s kingdom and use our stories, our trials, our heartaches, our joy, and our victories to reach out to others then we are wasting every opportunity given to us to truly impact others’ lives and lead others to accept Christ as their Savior. As Christians we can be confident that we have victory in ALL things with Christ and our faith sustains us when the evils of this world attack us. We must strive to allow others to not only see this but believe this for their lives as well.

 I will always take a stand with others to claim victory over cancer and I will always be the driver (and recruiter) of the prayer bandwagon. But I am not interested in the number of “I am in” responses I get for my personal gains but instead for the number of people who say “I am in”  and claim victory in Christ.

Verse to remember:  1 John 5:4-5 4 For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the son of God.

Rags to Riches

This morning my clock went off extra early because I needed to take my trash out (an unidentifiable salamander like creature kept me from going outside last night) and I was making a Panera coffee run before class. (I’m a Starbucks girl but I’ll settle for Panera when my coffee run is for someone else) As I silenced the harps (I prefer to wake up to harps opposed to an annoying buzzing), I pulled my comforter up over my face because my nose was an ice cube. Once my brain was awake, or should I say unthawed, I got out of bed and headed to the shower. I was thankful, but surprised, to hear my furnace on as I waited for the shower water to heat up. My thermostat is set to 60 because I can’t justify living in temperatures below 60 but I refuse to turn my heat on permanently this early.  After my shower, I put on my favorite sweatpants and favorite faded long sleeve t-shirt and heavily considered climbing back into bed. The comfort of my sweatpants gets me every time because they aren’t your typical sweatpants. I have had them for so long (7 years) that there are holes in the back, the bottom of the legs are ripped and ragged from walking on them repeatedly, and the elastic is completely gone from the waist band. They truly are a sight to behold. In fact, I can’t wear them in public anymore because the holes are too large but if you come to my house anytime from now until spring; I’ll be wearing them.  I have numerous pairs of sweatpants but they don’t compare to the comfort of my old, grungy, frayed, worn to shreds grey sweatpants.

Every one of us has a favorite worn out article of clothing. There is something about the comfort of your favorite pair of sweatpants or sweatshirt that makes cold mornings bearable and something about your favorite T-shirt that makes casual Fridays more enjoyable.  Whatever the case, we find ourselves searching our dresser drawers for our treasured article of clothing more frequently than any other item inside.  Sometimes our sinful nature starts to resemble our favorite pair of sweatpants. It’s familiar, it fits perfectly, after so long the stains and shreds go unnoticed, and it’s comfortable.  Fortunately, for us God knows our need for a complete wardrobe makeover. I am not talking about Him giving us new tennis shoes and shirts without holes. He wants to give us a complete spiritual cleansing. When you go shopping for a new outfit for a special occasion, you don’t buy pants and a shirt and then wear worn shoes.  But when you confess your sins do you only surrender half of your sinful nature? Or do you hold onto guilt and shame for past mistakes convinced that you can’t possibly be forgiven? Our guilt and shame over past mistakes are also smelly and stained and in need of a makeover. Jesus paid the price at the cross and by his blood we are cleansed. His blood bleaches our sinful nature and he forgives us completely, leaving us sparkling and radiant. Are you walking around in sin or perhaps you’re walking around in brand new shoes but your clothes are filthy and battered.  God is waiting to give you a spiritual makeover and wrap you in his robe of forgiveness. His makeover isn’t limited to outward appearance. When you forgive yourself, you will see yourself in a whole new way and begin to allow God to heal your brokenness and shame.

I love my infamous sweatpants and have accepted that they are an essential part to my wardrobe. I am not impressed with my old rags but they are my favorite. When I think about my past and the sins in my life I know that they are not an essential part of who I am. When I allowed God to give me a complete new look; I was left speechless at how he turned my rags into pure beauty. Treasure your favorite “old rags” and take delight in the comfort that comes along with your favorite articles of clothing but allow God to get rid of all the garments of shame, guilt, and sin that are part of your wardrobe.  When you do, your seven year old sweatpants will fail in comparison to the comfort of God’s forgiveness.

Verse to remember: Ephesians 4:22-24 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self which is being corrupted by it’s deceitful desires. 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Over the mountains and through the woods to grandmothers house I go

Every weekend I go home to visit my grandmother. And even though my weekly visits consist of my grandmother’s to-do list; I look forward to seeing her each week. I wasn’t able to go home this weekend because I had to play the role of PT student (I always play the role but this weekend I attempted to be a good PT student) and fulfill research responsibilities and study for an exam. Not only did I not see her this weekend but I didn’t talk to her once yesterday. This almost never happens. I tried calling her this morning after my epic fail on my exam (I obviously wasn’t successful at being a PT student this weekend) and I got her voicemail for the third consecutive time in 2 days. Part of me was scared that something was wrong but most of me just missed talking to my grandma. Well, listening to her because I usually can’t get a word in! When she finally called me back an hour later, still half asleep from her midmorning nap, the extent of my homesickness set in. And it was made worse by the fact that she made a coconut cream pie yesterday.  After talking to her for awhile, I told her that I was going to come see her this week because I missed her. In typical fashion, she said: “miss me; you were just here last week!”

My grandma was right, I was just there but that didn’t make me any less homesick.  I wasn’t homesick for the comforts that a house brings because I have a cozy nook myself; I was homesick for what my home represents. For the excitement in my grandma’s face when I walk in, for our priceless conversations, for our late night Lifetime movies, and even for the smell of Misty lights and Liz Claiborne perfume. To me, my grandma’s house, my home, represents security, love, support, and happiness. Even when I am not at “home” I am still surrounded and reminded of these blessings everyday but that doesn’t stop me from occasionally missing my spot on Meadow Ave. How many times, in your life have you also experienced the physical comforts of your own house but felt heartsick for home? Maybe when you lie in bed at night you don’t feel at home at all but instead feel profoundly lost. To others you may have the perfect family, a dream job, and stunning features but inside you feel completely empty and lost. Despite everything you do, you still can’t find peace in your “home” on Earth. Whenever your heart longs for security, peace, rest, and happiness remember that God had promised to bring you safely home one day. We weren’t created to be satisfied and completely fulfilled while on Earth because this Earth isn’t our home at all. We may never experience what it is like to find true comfort while in an earthly sense but perhaps that’s what God intended so we will always be homesick for His kingdom.  When I feel lost, defeated, and isolated I don’t find myself throwing in the towel; I find myself homesick for Heaven. For the room that has been prepared for me and for the rewards that await me.  As long as we live for Him, the emptiness and solitude that we experience while on Earth can be lessened by His comfort and be endured by His promise to one day share His home with us.  I will endure my time on this Earth and when I miss my grandma’s laugh and homemade pies I will make the journey to her home and when I feel lost and alone I will continue on my journey towards my Father’s home.

Verse to remember:  John 14:2-3 2 In my Father’s house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Survival tip:how to maintain a fire

One of my faithful readers who happens to be one of my very favorite friends brought to my attention this weekend that she had been present for some of my day to day adventures  and heard firsthand the laughs and misfortunes that fill my days but I have never included her in one of my posts. Before I continue, it is important (and necessary if I want to remain friends) to state that she was 100% joking when she made the comment. In fact, she made it clear that if I addressed her by name she would pause our friendship for an entire hour! I am not scared of the friendship pause because I get that threat all the time…it’s the fact that she does Insanity and has 9 gym memberships that will keep her nameless.

I couldn’t single out my favorite (or most embarrassing) moments to share with you because the list goes on forever but I can tell you that every experience with my friend makes me laugh, cry, and appreciate life so much more.  Recently, after enjoying a fun-filled dinner, we decided that it was a perfect night for a bonfire. Her dad has an awesome fire pit and he was out of town so it was the perfect opportunity to play with his toys without worrying about the consequences. (yes, we asked him first) As I (key word I) was arranging the wood and paper properly, to start the fire she said, “my dad has lighter fluid to help start the fire.” After my firewood was strategically placed (thank you girl scouts), I began lighting the wads of paper also strategically placed within my wood.  As soon as there was fire, my sidekick handed me the lighter fluid. I poured a small amount onto the wood and when it came out dark, I knew we were in trouble. Almost as soon as the words, “this isn’t lighter fluid” came out of my mouth I smelled burning car engine. I took the bottle I was holding away from the fire and held the lighter up to it: it was motor oil. Laughing, I said who keeps motor oil at a fire pit? The good news is, we didn’t need lighter fluid to start the fire but the bad news is for the rest of the evening we had to smell burning oil. Earlier in the week, we (my nameless friend and I) were sitting at a hospital trying to keep laughter in the mist as we awaited the recovery of someone we both love and care about greatly. Somewhere in our laughter, she reminded me of her extreme fear of doctors.  It’s true; she has your typical white coat phobia and her vital signs increase as soon as she becomes a patient. We reminisced about her past encounters with doctors and made jokes about some of her misfortunes.

As I was preparing a way to publically address my beloved friend, these specific stories came to my mind out of the millions I had to choose from. After church this morning, I instantly knew why.  You may not have a fear of white coats and you certainly may not confuse lighter fluid with motor oil but you most definitely need to have a spiritual check-up in order to examine your heart and keep your fire burning.  It is easy for us to believe in Christ and to go through the motions of being Christians but when was the last time you truly examined your heart? Unlike an annual physical, we require a spiritual check-up frequently. Our hearts reflect our spirit and in order for our spirit to be Christ like, we must cleanse our hearts before God often. We must ask ourselves what is the thorn in our flesh and then be honest with God so our fire never burns out.  We must confess our sins and allow Him to give us all that flows from His throne in order to be restored. It isn’t always an easy process but a necessary process in order to remain spiritually healthy.  When you feel your heart tell you it needs a spiritual examination or when you feel that your fire is getting puny; don’t search for lighter fluid or fear the doctor. Instead listen to your heart and be confident in your exam skills…The only one who knows your heart better is exactly the one you are turning to.  When you walk out of the treatment room; you won’t try to avoid scheduling another appointment but instead embrace the next encounter with the great physician.

Verse to remember:  Romans 12:11-12 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

One piece at a time

Today I was at the hospital waiting on the elevator. I was half paying attention to the conversation I was part of and half paying attention to the Seeing Eye dog feet away from me.  I was debating whether or not it was appropriate to ask the owner to pet her dog (she was such a sweet and beautiful dog) when she said to her companion come on, the last elevator is going up. As she said this, I thought WOW a lady with a visual impairment knew which elevator was going up. Still half shocked, I entered the elevator and as I was holding the door to make their entrance onto the elevator easier she again gave a command to her dog. She prompted him to wait at the door to the elevator and then gave him permission to enter.  At this point, I am convinced I am being recorded and this entire moment is a joke. How else would this lady(who was walking with a dog wearing a vest that stated: my owner has a visual impairment) be able to see a light indicating which elevator to get on and the entrance to the elevator? Once on the elevator, I begin talking to this woman and to her dog waiting for the camera crew to come out and reveal the surprise. And then she said what was probably obvious to everyone else around me…”Sorry she (her dog) gets scared on an elevator, we are trying to get her ready for a permanent placement.”  I wasn’t being punked and this lady clearly wasn’t blind: my brain was just being my brain, leaving me puzzled at a situation and laughing at the outcome.

My brain plays tricks on me all the time; I like to blame it on too much caffeine and too much studying. (I’m clearly still in denial that my brain was playing tricks on me long before my coffee addiction got out of control and before I started PT school)Ok, my brain and my heart become puzzled more than I like to admit but I don’t just get confused when a situation doesn’t make sense or when I make up words that don’t exist. When I think about my life and try to answer questions about the future, or wonder how am I possibly going to be able to do that; my brain is like an empty filing cabinet containing only a few blank sheets of paper. I don’t possess enough strength or knowledge to answer the unknown questions of my life but I do possess the faith to trust the one who does. When my brain resembles an empty filing cabinet, the few blank sheets of paper represent the minimal tools God has given me to sustain myself as He fills up all the empty space with His understanding and his mastery. And as He turns each “puzzling” moment in my life into something I can comprehend and endure, He stores it in my filing cabinet so I never have to have to be left searching for the answer again.  

Our lives represent one giant puzzle and to us we just see thousand of jagged disfigured pieces that couldn’t possibly yield a beautiful work of art. But to God, our lives make perfect sense and He is the only one who can strategically fit the pieces together. We can’t look at our lives and expect to see the finished product when God has only begun to assemble the pieces. And when we think He is assembling an elephant that turns out to be a submarine, we need to trust Him because He is the one with the blueprint; we just have a bag of pieces.  Any good puzzle builder knows that you begin a puzzle by putting the frame together first. Our frame is comparable to our filing cabinet. As God begins to build upon the frame, filling in the pieces, store the mastery of His perfection in your heart and mind. When all you see is empty space, be patient and know that God has already given you the pieces you need as you wait for your puzzle to be completed.  My brain may always be trying to fit a square peg in a round hole but the puzzle pieces of my life will always fit together because I have given control to the one who laughs as I pronounce epitome 3 different ways before finally grasping the true context of the word.

Verse to remember:  1 Corinthians 3:10-11 10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. 11 For no one can lay any other foundation other than the one already laid which is Jesus Christ.

Improving depth perception

My closest friends and most of my family know that I drive too fast. And for the record, I know that I drive too fast as well. I have tried to set my cruise control when I am on the interstate but my foot always finds its way back to the gas pedal. After I pass other cars, I never return to the speed limit I set for myself. As a result of my somewhat fast driving, I often underestimate the times it takes me to get from one place to another. I was reminded of this yesterday when I was driving on the interstate (going a tad over the speed limit) and I saw a sign for roadwork ahead. I continued driving at the same speed because although there was a sign to slow down, there was no road work. I passed 3 signs for roadwork (I should say warning signs to slow down) before I actually came to the road work which was accompanied by a WV state trooper. No! I didn’t get pulled over, my Honda has excellent brakes and I have excellent favor from God, but there were state troopers all over the medians waiting to deliver that infamous yellow ticket to drivers failing to obey the 55mph speed limit. I was forced to slow down which added extra travel time to my journey, allowing me just enough time to get to my destination.

I don’t always encounter road work when I am traveling but I do encounter those who drive slower than I do on most occasions. (Most like to say they obey the speed limit; I like to say drive too slow) I may be a fast driver but at times I am slow to grasp the depth of God’s greatness. I have been guilty of seeing a trial, a sickness, an unsaved loved one or a broken heart and before seeing God’s greatness, I saw the problem. Today, as I was trying to grasp how truly awesome our God is, I wasn’t drawn to all of the miracles he has performed in my life, I wasn’t drawn to all of the trials he has lead me through, and I wasn’t drawn to all of the blessings he has given me. I was drawn to one thing: my life. I saw an unworthy scumbag covered with sin and shame and as tears filled my eyes, I saw the depth of God’s greatness.  His greatness is the only reason I am alive. His greatness forgives me, loves me, restores, me, and gives me grace and mercy when I don’t deserve any of it. His greatness is available to all of us. He loves me, loves you, not because of who we are but in spite of who we are.  

When you are faced with a grim situation and don’t think it’s possible for God’s greatness to be enough, don’t look at the problem but instead examine your life.  Pick the most unworthy moment of your life and close your eyes. Envision the pain, the sin, and the shame of that moment and know that as Christ withstood the cross; it was our sin that held him there. The depth of that love and of that greatness is beyond measure. 

In order for me to slow down while I am driving, I may require a few speeding tickets to grasp the consequences involved.  When I am slow to grasp the depths of God’s greatness, I don’t need a miracle to serve as my reminder because this unworthy servant is reminded every day that the reason I am alive is simply because of God’s greatness.

Verse to remember:  Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.

Put me in coach

If I had a bucket list, one item on it would be to stand on the sidelines at Milan Puskar Stadium inches away from the tunnel as the Mountaineers took the field. Another item on my list would be to meet former legendary Mountaineer football players. And if I could have any job for a year (or a lifetime), I would be an ESPN football commentator. I’m not going to be taking over a spot on college game day but today I did stand on the sidelines at Mountaineer field and I did shake hands with former WVU football players that went on to play in the NFL. From the moment the Pride of West Virginia took the field until Country Roads filled the stadium solidifying victory, I stood there and captured every moment of today’s game.  I was close enough to the players that I was able listen to team huddles, I was close enough to the end zone that I didn’t have to wait for instant replay to see if the referee made the correct call, and I was close enough to the sideline that one a few occasions I had to jump out of the way of a 6’2 linebacker running full speed out of bounds. At the end of the game, I even shook hands with the head coach and stood right beside him as he delivered his post game speech to the radio. The last words I heard as I left the stadium, were the famous words of WVU’s radio announcer: “it’s a great day to be a mountaineer, wherever you may be.” For this mountaineer, today was the greatest day imaginable.

I have been to over 50 WVU games in my life and each game has a different memory that makes it unique and unforgettable but before today, I was never in the heart of the game.  Every game I attend from this point on, will fail to compare to today simply because I will be watching from the stands opposed to the sidelines.  Today it was a privilege to be on the sidelines but when it comes to my relationship with Christ, I never want to be on the sidelines. I never want to be watching God from a distance and I certainly never want to be a benchwarmer for God’s kingdom. I want to be among the greatest players to ever be a part of God’s team. I want God to be so evident in me that I have more radiance coming from me than a kicker who just scored the game winning field goal. Where do you see yourself on God’s team? Are you a leader for Christ? Do you put in the dedication, obedience, and strength required to be part of a winning team?  Or are your contributions to God’s team minimal. I may not be a star quarter back in life and I am definitely not an athlete but my coach is God. And when He tells me to get in the game and give it my all, I do. I am a member of the greatest team ever made and I must listen to my coach everyday so others will be drawn to my team. I can’t recruit players if I sit on the sideline and neglect my team responsibilities and I certainly can’t lead people to the kingdom of God if I lack in my own dedication and obedience.  Once, I was content being part of the losing team because I had never tasted true victory but then I asked Christ into my heart and started playing for the winning team.  Is God the quarterback of your heart? If he is, are you satisfied watching him work from the sidelines or do you want to be the best player on his team?

When I come off the field exhausted, battered, bandaged and bruised; I will shake hands with my coach and the last thing I will hear is Him say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” And the rewards for all of my hard work will be before me.  

Verse to remember:  James 2: 26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

My story has a happy ending

Tonight was one of the best nights of my entire life. I attended the Tenth Avenue North’s, “When the Light Meets the Dark” tour and was blown away by the music and the worship.  Along with Tenth Avenue North were Matt Maher and Addison Road. Now would be the appropriate time to tell you that Addison Road is my second favorite band ever (Dave Matthews still holds first place) and I have been looking forward to finally seeing them in concert for months. The lyrics of their songs are like arrows straight to my heart and each time I hear them, I fall more and more in love with this band! Tonight as they took the stage and began singing, I began to fall in love with the lyrics, rhythm, and energy in each note played and each word sang. It took approximately 3 seconds for me to stop falling in love with the music and to fall more in love with my God. As I listened to the music and the testimonies of these bands the words were faint because the voice of God was all I could hear. Throughout the entire concert, as I entered into the presence of God and into the spirit of worship I kept hearing from God. Right now, I wish I could be plugged into a machine that hooks wires to my brain and translates everything inside of it into words so I am guaranteed to share with you everything inside my brain. ..Guaranteed to share with you the voice of God.

 Since there is no way for me to plug my brain up to my keypad, I am going to try my best to accurately describe what is inside my brain and inside my heart.  When I had my vacation with the Lord, the lyrics of Addison Road’s songs spoke volumes to the current mess I had made for myself and brought me to tears because there was life in the songs they sang. As I stood rows away from their lead singer, I was again brought to tears but this time it was because I heard God saying to me, “finally Jay stay broken and surrender control so that I can show you a better life.” For so long, I tried controlling my own life and didn’t allow any room for God’s control.  We all hit rock bottom at times and we all turn our lives upside down and we all face the darkness of this world. But no matter where we are at in our lives or how big of a mess we created for ourselves, God is there to give us life. We all have a story composed of many chapters, subtitles, and side notes and every piece of OUR story leads to God’s story.  If you hear God’s voice today, listen. Allow him to speak to the depths of your heart and allow him to take control of your life. Don’t see yourself or your life as broken but instead realize that you are under construction and that God is changing you for who He wants you to be to complete His story.

I am thankful that God isn’t through with me yet and I am content being in a constant state of construction because I know that somehow my story is part of God’s plan. Tonight Tenth Avenue North played Country Roads as a tribute to every West Virginian attending the concert. When they sang the words, county roads take me home to the place I belong. I smiled and knew that wherever my story takes me, WV will always be my home and God will always be to whom I belong.

                                                                                                                             

Verse to remember: Ephesians 1:11 In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will.

The blind leading the blind

For over a week, I have only been wearing a contact in my right eye.  When I attempt to put in my left contact (my most seeing impaired eye) I feel as if I am inserting hydrochloric acid opposed to my contact.  Along with instant pain and burning my eye becomes red and irritated. I have concluded that I either have an eye infection or I have scratched some part of my eye. A smart person would go to the eye doctor and put a stop to this pain and blindness but I choose to go around with only one good eye. And if this isn’t bad enough, every morning when I get out of the shower I still attempt to put in my left contact expecting a different outcome only to regret this decision a few seconds later. Tonight I was driving home, in the rain,(for those who had the privilege to ride with me in the pre-contact time period, you know that I am especially blind when it’s dark and raining) and when I came to a stop light I noticed the car beside me staring at me. At first, I thought they were watching me jam out to K-LOVE and then I   realized that there were probably wondering why I was sitting inches away from the steering wheel. As I was laughing at my adaptive driving technique, I put on my glasses to ensure my safety as I continued driving home.  

I have been using my contacts for months so I didn’t appreciate the severity of my astigmatism until this week when I was going around half blind. Not only was my vision bad in my left eye but I was putting more strain on my right eye because it was working twice as hard. I neglected my eyes and my need for contacts and as a result I have suffered headaches, blurry vision, and a red swollen eye for days. My ability to neglect my vision had a very similar result to when I neglect God’s vision. When I face each day, I must choose to seek God first and allow him to guide every part of who I am. Not only does this require obedience but it requires an unwavering faith. If I allow fear to overtake my faith when I am faced with a difficult situation, a seemingly impossible task, or complete brokenness, I will become blind. I will become blind because my fear will override the presence of God and I will become blind because I will start relying on my own vision instead of God’s vision. Whether we are in the valley or on the mountaintop, we must allow God to lead us. It’s impossible to allow God to guide our lives if we don’t surrender everything to him. What areas of your life and you unwilling to turn over to God? What personal vision in your life is more valuable than God’s vision for your life?  Are you walking around with   one good eye only seeing and therefore experiencing half of what God has for you?  

Without my contacts, I add more strain to my eyes and am forced to compensate numerous time throughout my day in order to see clearly.  My physical “blindness” takes away my ability to see road signs, class notes, and football score  on the TV, leading to frustration and voids in my days. Without God, I add more strain to my life and rely on my own guidance, leading to a downward spiral of compensations in order to see clearly. My spiritual “blindness” takes away my ability to trust God in all situations and makes it impossible for God’s vision for my life to unfold. Don’t compensate God’s vision for your life and don’t trust your own guidance over His. When/IF you do you will always be limited to blurry vision because no matter how hard we try, without God, we will always be blind.

Verse to remember:  Isaiah 56:10-11 10 Israel’s watchmen are blind, they all lack knowledge: they are all mute dogs, they cannot bark, they lie around and dream, they love to sleep. 12 They are dogs with mighty appetites; they never have enough. They are shepherds who lack understanding; they all turn to their own way, each seeks his own gain.

Helping hands equal happy hearts

As part of a project for one of my classes, I was required to assess buildings on my university’s campus and determine the accessibility for an individual who had a physical disability. This morning 4 of my friends and I headed downtown to begin our adventure. My friends (I prefer friends opposed to classmates) were responsible for documenting the entire morning and I was trusted to be our test subject. I was role playing an individual who was injured in an accident, suffering broken legs, and as a result used a wheelchair for mobility. Throughout our morning adventure, we discovered that the main parking garage did not have an elevator, ramps were not identified, doorways were narrow, water fountains were too high, and handicapped accessible doors weren’t very handicap accessible at all. We also discovered that there were positive accommodations made to our university in order to meet the needs of those who had a physical disability. More than the accommodations, I (we) noticed the willingness of students to help someone in need. Young men held doors open, in the rain, so I could propel my wheelchair through the doorway without added difficulty. (For the record, it is much more difficult to steer a wheelchair than it looks) A store worker offered to help me as I struggled to pour my coffee from a seated position. And in the bathroom, other girls allowed me to wash my hands first so I could have enough room to maneuver myself from the sink to the paper towel dispenser.  These individuals made my morning project easier by noticing a need and acting accordingly to help meet that need. (As did my friends who pushed me around campus when my arms were beyond fatigued.)

 I may have been role playing this morning but there have been many times in my life when I was in desperate need of a helping hand. Life is too complicated to face on our own. We can be skilled professionals, be brilliant at multi-tasking, and possess many talents but there will be a time when we need someone to meet a need in our life. When we trust God, He will meet all of our needs. But in order for him to be successful He sometimes uses us to help others. When a friend, a co-worker, a spouse, or a complete stranger requires a helping hand are you first in line to help or are you among the crowd watching as they struggle to get through each day? Are you too consumed with your own schedules and needs to invest in the life of someone else? A simple act of kindness can unknowingly change someone’s day and perhaps even their life. When we unselfishly give of our time, our resources, and of ourselves we show the people in our life a glimpse of God’s selfless and perfect love…Our “helping hand” represents Christ’s presence in our lives. What we have to offer others is only limited by whether or not we have allowed God to help us first. We may think that we don’t have a need in our lives because we can’t pin point anything specific but we are ALL in need of God each and every day. By allowing God to dwell inside our hearts, we allow Him to control every aspect of who we are. When he is in command of our hearts and our lives, we seek out ways to lend a helping hand so the world can see His light through us. But when we choose to command our own lives and hearts, we fade into the crowd of other’s still searching for someone to meet the needs in their lives.  Don’t allow yourself to be stuck in a crowd today. If you see an opportunity to lend a helping hand, be the first one there to help and if you are searching for a helping hand to meet your needs, reach up because God has His arm stretched out waiting for you to take hold of it.

Verse to remember: 1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is never in vain.

Advanced Scar Treatment

Today I had the honor of attending a luncheon entitled, an afternoon of enlightenment. This luncheon was sponsored by the Mary Babb Randolph Cancer Center and honored breast cancer survivors from all over the area. I am not a breast cancer survivor and in fact when I called and asked to attend this event, the lady with whom I spoke wasn’t very receptive to my desire to be a part of this day. I went on to explain to her that I had a strong desire to spend the rest of my life in pursuit of making a difference for those battling cancer with my career and my heart. After an awkward moment of silence, she agreed to let me attend. My intentions for attending this event, were to learn as much as I could about survivorship in hopes of becoming a more qualified physical therapist as a result of the stories these women had to share. And to hopefully offer suggestions or resources and answer questions related to my field of study.  I don’t know if I will be a better physical therapist after today but I can assure you that after today I am a better person because of these women. As I sat there and listened to their individual stories, I felt so inadequate. These women possessed a source of strength unknown to most and they had overcome more pain and heartache than most will experience in a lifetime. Each and every woman at the luncheon today had their own story to tell, each containing a different journey that ended in the same result: survivorship. I sat in awe of these ladies for almost an hour, listening to miracle after miracle and then one of the keynote speakers took the podium.  She talked for about 10 minutes about her personal journey and ended it with a profound truth. She admitted that the hardest part of her journey was the scar that remained after her mastectomy. One day, after months of seeing only a scar, her husband said, “honey it isn’t a scar at all. It’s a birthmark.” I honestly got goose bumps after those words came out of her mouth.  Her life was restored and she had the scar to prove it. She was given a second chance at life and was able to turn her shame into gratification.

Tonight at church, my pastor asked me to come up front. As I stood holding his hand, he told my congregation about my journey in Christ (an abridged version of course). Throughout my journey, I have had my own stories of triumph, failure, pain, defeat, fear, and happiness.  As he talked, I felt inadequate for the second time today. This time my inadequateness was accompanied with shame. Shame for all the times I had chosen myself above God. And then I felt a tug in my heart and it was My Jesus saying to me, there is no shame in who you are in Christ. He is right friends. In my life, I have many scars but the scars of my past don’t exist any longer. God showed me today that my scars are really my birthmark. My reminder that He has restored my life and given me a new life in Him. He wants to do the same for you friends. What scars are you holding onto? Who you have been doesn’t define who you are. The most difficult journey is back to the place where we failed. But we aren’t stuck in the realm of our failures and our scars; we are led into the realm of God by His mercy, love, and salvation.  Let God heal your scars today and more importantly, allow him to restore your life and give you a birth mark stamped with our Saviors’ signature.

Today I wore more than a pink ribbon in support of breast cancer research, survivorship, and hope. I wore a ribbon of in support of God, His presence in my life, and my love for Him.

Verse to remember:  1 Peter 1:3-4  3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade-kept in heaven for you.

Help is on the way

When I received my application letter for physical therapy school, I remember all of the steps and requirements involved. I had to have the proper classes, a specific GPA, a competitive GRE score (and friends mine was anything but competitive), letters of recommendations, and answer questions specific to each school to which I was applying.  WVU had an additional requirement. They wanted a letter of purpose. I put off writing my letter of purpose until the last minute because I wasn’t exactly sure what to include and more importantly, I wasn’t quite sure what my purpose was. At the time, I wanted to be a physical therapist because I liked working with people, witnessed personal success with PT, and the career interested me.  None of these would be enough to write 2 pages and it definitely wouldn’t make me stand out among 100 plus applicants. So when I sat down to write my letter of purpose, I examined my heart and let my heart lead me instead of allowing my brain to make me seem “purposeful.” I don’t recall everything I included in my letter of purpose, but I do know that ultimately I wanted to be a physical therapist because I had a strong passion to invest in the lives of others and I wanted to forever have a career grounded in helping others.

Wednesday afternoon as I was working with a physical therapist, we attempted to treat a patient with severe vertigo. Her symptoms were by far the worst either of us had ever seen. (I know, not much coming from me since I have very little clinical experience but a lot coming from an NCS PT) I say attempted to treat her because all of the treatment options available to us, combined with all of our knowledge, weren’t enough to alleviate her symptoms. In fact, we managed to make her vomit three times.  The only comfort she had when we left her room, was finally a diagnosis to her misery and education on how we hoped to make her better. When I left the hospital Wednesday, my heart was sad because we weren’t able to help her.  That evening I re-read a few of my textbooks and looked up articles I thought might reveal another option we overlooked. I was determined to help this lady feel better. After I had exhausted all of my resources, I knew we had given her the best PT care available and I could only pray that her symptoms would decrease by the next day.

My desire to help others fails in comparison to God’s desire to help us. Unlike any human abilities, God’s abilities are never attempts and his resources are never limited. There isn’t one situation, sickness, trial, or even one person that can’t be “helped” through and by God.  Whatever the case, God never scratches his head for the answer, He doesn’t ask someone smarter than Him for guidance, and He definitely doesn’t give up. Why? Because He is the answer, He is the all-knowing, and He refuses to let us live a life depleted of His presence.  Think about a time when you felt completely helpless and how much it hurt your heart to have nothing more to offer. Now, imagine how much God’s heart hurts when he has everything to offer us and we won’t allow Him to help us.  I can promise you His heart only hurts because he wants to take care of everything for us. The next time you need help in any area of your life, jump on God’s back and let him carry you. If you really want an easy and enjoyable journey, put on a blindfold when you’re on His back and let him not only carry you but lead you.

Verses to remember: Psalm 121 1-8

1 I lift my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip-He who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord watches over you-the Lord is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will keep you from ALL harm-he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forever more.