Attutude Adjustment

Two week ago I started exercising for two reasons: my thighs started overtaking my pants and my patients motivated me.  Not only have I added exercise to my new big girl schedule; I have added responsibility to my job title. Before I give myself too much credit, I must admit that I haven’t transitioned too easily. I complained for days when I had a 7:00 AM patient and I still have to give myself a pep talk before my feet hit the treadmill (I started out exercising 6 days a week and now I’m down to 3 days).  During my “I need to become an adult at 27 years old” revelation; I realized that I didn’t necessarily need to change who I was; I need to revamp who I was.  I needed to understand that my days of sleeping in until 9:00 were over. I needed to accept that if I wanted to feel the comfort of my favorite Buckle jeans again; I had to exercise. I needed to shine my helmet (In addition to my helmet of salvation, I wear a helmet of protection because life is hard) and welcome the joys of being the low man on the totem pole in the career world. I needed to say goodbye to procrastination and finally accept responsibility. I spent days revamping myself (I will spend the rest of my life appreciating a 5:00 alarm) and even though I began feeling more like an adult; I didn’t necessarily like being an adult. I didn’t like being an adult because I had managed to change everything accept my attitude. In my mind, I was still annoyed when my 7:30 AM meetings were cancelled after I was already in the conference room. I still got angry when schedule changes caused my days to be longer. And I still outright despised the 30 minutes I sat aside each day to walk on the treadmill. Outwardly, I looked like a transformed adult (well as transformed as I will ever be) but inwardly I was still the same person. My battle wasn’t with making necessary changes in my life; my battle was within my mind. I never (and I do mean never) thought I would admit that waking up at 5:00 AM and walking on a treadmill daily would be easier than adjusting my attitude.

My attitude has been tainted not because of my transition toward adulthood but because of my transition toward myself. At some point far greater than two weeks ago; I lost my Mojo. I lost the overwhelming desire inside of myself to live for Jesus opposed to living for myself. All of my self-seeking desires resurfaced and I lost sense of who I was. Outwardly, I was still daily transforming into more of Him but inwardly I was battling with the enemy. Each day I put all of my energy into revamping the easy areas of obedience and faith but cut corners in the area that needed the most attention: my attitude in Christ. Instead of allowing God to cover me in His grace and revamp me with His healing arms; I spent days feeling like a Christian but never actually enjoyed being a Christian. Enjoying  every second of God and  enjoying every second of living for Him wasn’t my problem; experiencing joy in my storm was my problem. As soon as I took my eyes off of Him and placed them on this world; I failed friends. I failed and no amount of revamping was going to bring me back to victory. My only chance of a true adjustment was getting in the presence of God. And I did just that. Sunday night I started changing my attitude for two reasons: my hurt started overtaking His purpose and my King motivated me.  Now in my mind, my pain, my frustrations, my loss, my defeats, and my anger vanish and all I am left with is pure joy. Pure joy that only comes from Him: pure joy that starts inwardly and transforms itself outwardly. Do you need a transformation of Jesus today? Have you been outwardly changing but inwardly dying? Has the enemy robbed you of the joy of your salvation? Don’t ignore the area of your life that needs Jesus the most. Don’t spend days battling the enemy when God has already won the ultimate battle.  There is joy in Jesus friends. When you find it and experience it; you crave it. You spend your days basking in it. You spend your life desiring to share it. The joy I have in Him has transformed me into a 27 year old whose only desire is to live and love like Jesus…a 27 year old who can only wake up at 5:00 AM because I know at some point in my day; Jesus will use to me share His joy.

Verse to remember:  Philippians 2: 1-5  1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.