Today I had a patient who had 4 members of her family present when I entered her room to conduct my initial evaluation. Approximately three seconds into the history portion of my exam one of her sisters began answering my questions for her even though she was fully capable of answering my questions herself. I was doing an excellent job of portraying Christ’s love to my patient’s sister until she began interrupting my sentences. After four attempts to finish asking the same question; I skipped the rest of my questions and went straight into my physical exam. Shockingly, I again uttered 5 words before my patient’s sister began finishing my sentences. I wanted to blurt out there is no possible way you know if your sister is experiencing pain when I press on her shins but I didn’t. Instead I chewed on my inside lip and kindly said, “I am going to get her out of bed and help her to the bedside commode. Perhaps, you all could wait in the waiting room while we do this.” The three silent members of the room took my bait, kindly excused their selves and waited outside to respect their family member’s privacy. Her very persistent (and at this point overbearing) sister stayed behind. (I searched for strength among IV poles and oxygen tubing because I knew I desperately needed it.) As we were preparing to get out of bed, I wanted to assess my patient’s ability to perform dressing tasks so I asked her to put on her socks. Knowing her sister was going to interrupt me again and try to put her sister’s socks on for her; I turned toward her and said: “For the rest of my exam, I need your sister to do as much as she can by herself in order to help her accurately.” When I returned my patient safely back to bed; she thanked me and stated that she was ready for a nap. I already knew she needed a nap because her sister told me four times as we (by we I mean all three of us) were walking.
I am not heartless and I like to think that I don’t lack compassion. In fact, my very desire to help people landed me in room 903 this afternoon. But I wouldn’t be very good at my soon to be profession (5 more weeks until I dress up like a hobbit it my regalia) if I let my desire to help people interfere with my abilities to help return them to their optimal level of function. Today, I had to struggle to find a balance between my compassion and skills, and more importantly my patience. Often times when I find myself in need of God’s help, I struggle to find the same balance in my own life. My patience becomes almost nonexistent and I could care less about return to my optimal function; I just want His help. I want Him to provide me with all of the answers and I want Him to do everything for me. I’m not interested in becoming stronger or gaining attributes I didn’t possess before. I’m interested in one thing: How much can God do? Of course, I know God can do absolutely anything He wants. And unfortunately, I know that sometimes God wants me to look beyond answers and quick fixes and remind myself of His plan. He knows what I need before I need it and e knows exactly what I am going to say and think moments before I actually speak or think. He knows that if He provides me with all of the answers without making me take the test; I will never return to my optimal level of function. God is always the answer friends but sometimes He sits quietly in the corner while we figure out the reasoning for His tests of life. God never intends to make us suffer or more importantly make us doubt His abilities; He intends to make us stronger and rely more on His abilities opposed to our own. Do you give up when God doesn’t immediately give you the answers you want? Or do you trust Him to return you to your optimal level of function? The love and compassion in God’s heart is far greater than anything we will ever be able to comprehend. And He doesn’t struggle to find a balance between His love and skills simply because they can never be separated.
I fully believe my patient’s sister had good intentions when she tried to provide me with all of the answers to my exam today. She loves her sister and her desire to help her interfered with my ability to help my patient. I too have good intentions when I turn to God for help. But sometimes my desire to skip the test and to straight to the answers interferes with God’s abilities to transform me more into the image of His son. Without that constant transformation, I would have lasted two minutes today before I kicked my patient’s entire family out of the room for my exam.
Verse to remember: 1 Chronicles 28:19-20 19“All this,” David said, “I have in writing as a result of the LORD’s hand on me, and he enabled me to understand all the details of the plan.” 20 David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished.
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