Another chapter (and a loooong three years) of my life is finally over. Yesterday morning, with an extremely full bladder (for the record, a pot of coffee before a two hour graduation isn’t such a good idea) and a mixture of emotions, I walked across the stage at WVU and became Jessica Brooke Garcia, doctorate of physical therapy. As I received my doctorate hood and my diploma, my mind entertained many thoughts. Thought one: I prayed a prayer of complete thankfulness to God for allowing me to stand before hundreds of individuals as I received a degree that meant so much to me. (I also said a prayer for urinary retention). Thought two: I envisioned my pap passing out business cards with my name on them in heaven with a giant smile of pride and love on his face. Thought three: I realized the emptiness that had already set is as a result of my friends (classmates) parting ways to begin the next step in our journeys. Thought four: I never had to sit in a desk on the eighth floor again. Thought five: enjoy the moment because “serious” board exam studying begins Monday. Thought six: I look like a clown in my regalia. And thought seven: the envelope I was holding with the word DIPLOMA stamped on the front was empty. (there were other thoughts but I had to stop somewhere) It was empty because there was an error in billing during one of my visits to student health and my student account showed a $15.00 balance that had already been paid. Yes friends, I had to endure my dad’s furrowed brow and responsibility speech because of an error I couldn’t control.
When I found out last Thursday that my diploma would be mailed to me opposed to actually receiving it at graduation like the rest of my classmates; I was quite angry. I believe my exact statement to the lady in charge of student accounts at student health was: “I gave WVU $65,000 dollars and my sanity for the past three years and six phone calls later; I still can’t find someone who understands the term duplicate charge.” She understood my frustration and WVU’s billing system because she was finally able to permanently remove the charge from my account. After getting off of the phone, I continued to be angry because my mind entertained the many thoughts of all the pure misery I endured to finally hold my diploma in my hand. As my anger/frustration/ unhappiness escaladed, I even allowed myself to believe that all of my hard work and sacrifice was in vain because my envelope would be empty on graduation day. And that is exactly what Satan wanted me to think then and it is exactly what he wants me to think as I strive to make my relationship with Christ stronger. Satan exists to kill, steal, and destroy everything we have in Christ. He strives to make us think that we need proof for our efforts, our sacrifices, our commitments, and our investments in Christ. He attacks our hearts and our minds in hopes that we turn from the truths of the promises of God and turn towards self-centeredness, pride, and regret. He knows that once we accept Christ into our hearts, the Holy Spirit lives within us, leaving absolutely no room for him so Satan’s only chance of winning us back is to convince us to turn away from our desire to follow God’s greatest command: Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Friends, as soon as we start living for some sort of recognition or adoration we fall into Satan’s trap. We make our lives about us instead of about Jesus. I am not saying it is wrong to delight in personal accomplishments or be proud of the person who have become; I am saying every motive of our heart, mind, strength, and soul should be rooted in Christ. Our motives should never be set towards earthly gains. Our entertaining thoughts should never be consumed with everything we’ve lost and endured: our thoughts should be consumed with everything the kingdom of God gained, every area in which He received the glory. Our lives aren’t our own friends. Everything we have belongs to Him and one day the very one who created our hearts will open it up in front of our eyes and we will see exactly what God sees in us. If God opened up your heart today would he see a faithful servant? Would He see your living for His son (Jesus) or would He see you living for yourself? Or would your motives be self-centered opposed to Christ-centered? Don’t let Satan convince you that your efforts, sacrifices, and love for Jesus are in vain just because you don’t have tangible proof. God is for too big and far too awesome to be contained in the tangible form.
I may not have opened up my diploma on graduation day but I will receive my diploma sometime in the next 5-7 business days. (Or I will be making another round of calls to WVU) And when I open it up it will still read, degree earned: Doctorate of Physical Therapy. I may not experience a single form of tangible proof of my dedication and sacrifice to Christ while I am on this Earth but I will receive my sash one day. And when I look down across my chest my sash will read, degree earned: Doctorate of faithful servant of God. Hopefully, my pap remembered to put that title on my business cards!
Verse to remember: Leviticus 26: 14-20 14“‘But if you will not listen to me and carry out all these commands, 15 and if you reject my decrees and abhor my laws and fail to carry out all my commands and so violate my covenant, 16 then I will do this to you: I will bring on you sudden terror, wasting diseases and fever that will destroy your sight and sap your strength. You will plant seed in vain, because your enemies will eat it. 17 I will set my face against you so that you will be defeated by your enemies; those who hate you will rule over you, and you will flee even when no one is pursuing you. 18 “‘If after all this you will not listen to me, I will punish you for your sins seven times over. 19 I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze. 20 Your strength will be spent in vain, because your soil will not yield its crops, nor will the trees of your land yield their fruit.
No comments:
Post a Comment