This entire week, my hear t and my mind have been consumed by one thing: my pap. My pap is in my heart and my mind everyday (and every morning I look at his picture and tell him that I love him) but it is almost impossible to think of my graduation without thinking of him. To say my pap was my biggest supporter would be a huge injustice to the depths of his love and support. My pap loved me with a love I will never experience again in my lifetime. And the only person who knew a greater definition of sacrifice is God himself. My journey through PT school was sustained by his daily phone calls which he planned around my class schedule, (every semester he wrote down all of my class times so he wouldn’t call and worry me while I was learning). My pre-practical panic attacks (and occassional pre-practical pukes) were eased by his words of encouragement and his promise to make a trip to Morgantown at any time during the night if I needed him. My hours (and by hours I mean a tremendous amount of hours) of studying didn’t seem as misserable when I heard the happiness in his voice upon finding out my passing grades. And most importantly, my desire to quit failed in comparrison to my desire to make the man who called the governor of WV proud. Yes, friends my pap called the govenor of WV when I was applying to PT school to see if he would write a letter of reccomendation to include with my application. And he didn’t call once. He called everyday for weeks until finally the governor called him back. My favorite part of this story is that I told my pap numerous times it wouldn’t matter if our govenor agreed to write a letter because I couldn’t use it. I had specific requirements for my letters of reccomendation and unfortunatley West Virginia’s governor didn’t make the cut. My pap didn’t stop calling and he didn’t go away easy(somehow our govenor agreed to let me volunteer at the capitol and then he would write a character letter for me opposed to a reccomendation letter) because he was determined to do whatever he could to make sure I received an acceptance letter.
I didn’t stroll into our capitol and introduce myself to the governor as the grandaughter of the man who filled your voicemail with daily messages. But I did experience the purest form of Earthy love imaginable. And when I opened my letter of acceptance to WVU PT program my accomplishment became his accomplishment and my happiness became his happiness; His love became my motivaton. My pap’s love helped lead me to the only One whose love surpasses his. Had I decieded to quit PT school, I would have never allowed myself to fully trust God and I would have never learned to fully rely on God’s love. During my three year quest, I hit rock bottom friends. The pain of my pap’s death and the grief and depression that followed began the downward spiral to the lowest point of my life. (I often refer to it as the black hole) I was so very close to quitting not only PT school but quitting life. And then I remembered the very last thing I said to my pap. I promised him I would make him proud. Instead of quitting, I hit my knees and begged God to help me. And as I experienced the purest form of heavenly love imaginable, God let me know that if I surrendered myself to him; my dreams would be His dreams, my happiness would be His happiness; His love my motivation. And almost a year later, God has kept up His end of the promise. By trusting God to get me through the past months and by relying on His love alone; I have experienced the greatest joy of my life. My joy comes each day when I wake up and say, “Lord here I am. I will go where you lead me.” I expereince joy because I know that regardless of what I do or where I go or what trials I face; I am motivated by the love of my Father. I am motivated by knowing that this Earth isn’t all there is. I am motivated because my accomplishments are no longer rooted in Earthly gains. I am motivated because I know that His love never fails and as long as I stay completely surrendered to Him; I won’t fail. My heart, mind, soul, and strength will never be motivated by my own will and I have so much freedom in that thought. God wants to share in your hearts friends. He wants to stand with you as you face trials and He wants to delight in your happiness. There isn’t a letter of reccomendation needed to be accepted by God. There is just a prayer of surender and faith the size of a mustard seed. And of course an envelope with a letter enclosed saying: Congratulations! You have been accepted.
I am convinced my pap is still making calls. Only this time, he is sitting on his front porch calling down the street to God reminding Him that he will do whatever necessary to make sure his grandaughter is happy. And as God listens to my pap; He will be smiling because He knows I am not concerned with happiness: I’m concerned with making my pap proud. And his proudest moment will be when he takes my hand and leads me to my Father after I have completed all of His accomplishments that became my responsibility the moment I surrendered the black hole to Him.
Verse to remember: 1 Timothy 3-7 3 As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer 4or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. Such things promote controversial speculations rather than advancing God’s work—which is by faith. 5 The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. 6 Some have departed from these and have turned to meaningless talk.7 they want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.
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